Could robots make a newspaper?
The question is timely and sage,
for reporters may be obsolete,
in this brave new computer age.
Robot spelling is impeccable,
their grammar without flaw,
and facts so completely factual,
that they rule in courts of law.
Robot headlines are always accurate,
and exactly fit the space,
though the content may seem slightly dull,
to members of mere human race.
They may need a token human,
to talk to a stubborn source,
who worries that with robots,
you're always on the record of course.
And another to deal with problems,
that come up from time to time,
and to explain the stuff machine logic can't,
like politics and crime.
And computers that hang unpredictably,
endless complaints in language crude,
while the publisher whines about circulation,
and look! We're being sued.
The cost of newsprint goes up and up,
almost as fast as the union's demands.
Now the advertisers are yelling,
about news of competing brands.
Everyone complains about the comics,
yet it's the single most read page,
and many won't buy a paper,
now downloading is all the rage.
Still another deadline is looming.
Hurry and cut from a story that's long.
Know that getting it right won't stop them,
from saying you got the story wrong.
Yes, robots could put out a paper,
all shiny like chrome-plated struts,
but to do the job the way it's meant,
you have to be completely nuts.
This dates from the days when I worked in the IT department at a daily newspaper. It is even closer to reality now than it was then!
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