I've been trying to paint what possibilities I have left when it comes to love.
The latest being marrying a robot, or orderbride. It's just easier to talk to someone who doesn't remind me of the countless times I've screamed "symphony" because of what I heard the first time I met him.
The last time we spoke, I heard the rubble, the last rocks falling of a once great mountain we climbed together. You see, unspoken desires turn into regrets and grudges.
A fairy came by and gave me all these people for me to give my love to, only to lose them over a simple truth; their melody was time limited. My desire being to feel timeless.
Now, time stands still, the music muted with only cracks in the wall to remind me of the bass you represented.
Another possibility being revisiting the beauty in moving away, let me fall in love with a city that never sleeps. I want to feel it graze over me with the stamina of a thousand horses, pulsing me to do anything, everything, to celebrate feeling alive.
But then again, that option costs far more sentiment than I would've initially wanted to put in; getting to know the inhabitants of another colony of Gaia's children would be a process of accepting and letting go, something I still struggle with.
If I would, I'd court Paris or New York, but maybe Mars would be a better option.
The last option being, going for someone who will make me happy, with endless limitations on how I should act or react to their movements. Eventually making me start a fresh new relationship with a subject I'd rather keep unvisited; depression.
To be honest, I don't even desire to be anything but, even close to or remotely free. But my human body, needs a companion. However frustrating that might be for my countless testsubjects.
It's been a while since someone gave me the touch of the first finger on a violin string. I am sick and hateful towards someone entering my everything only to leave my song to play in a hollow tree instead of the living world I was supposed to resemble.
Until I hear the sound from the look in one's eye, I'm going to play my own bass. Recreating and reevaluating my past masterpieces.
But please, come soon. Love, I want to be part of your symphony once more.
