I thought to myself as I gaze at the stars at night. “Did I lose? What should I call this?” I feel cheated, I feel am lost and I am searching for my own self. Am I wrong to trust? Men can be funny at times. I am a victim of a fake relationship. This is a guy I love and would not trade his love for anything, a man I will go on my knees daily to pray for, a guy that I allowed his ex to stay with him for days during his last birthday just because I trusted him. He broke my trust and had sex with her during her visit of which i later discovered. I felt broken. I felt betrayed. Was it my fault that I trusted him that much? Because of love I stitched my wounded heart. I forgave him, moved on and hope time will wash the bad memory away just like water will wash anything written close to the sea. Despite the fact that many of my friends were against my relationship with him, I stood by him and defended him like a shepherd would defend his sheep. I thought I was defending my man from wolves not knowing that he is the wolf and I need to be defended. A man I stopped all my “playgirl” life for so that I can be serious with him. I even went extra miles to satisfy him. I did things I never thought I would. Hmmm……….Now I ask myself what is my gain? As of now I have given up on him. I don’t want him to be a part of my future. I don’t want to share my dreams with him. Why?
To be continued.....
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