@ocd-resteem
Pen on paper, 2016
22/01/18
As daylight spills
over the horizon
to wash away stars
in waves of feathers,
we come to drown,
our aching lungs
cast into a sky of wings,
and for the first time
we can truly breathe.
Jaundré M. van Breda © 2017
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Might I suggest a title for your poem?
It speaks to me of dreams, of our happy places that we go to at the end of a tiring day. Places we go to with our love and sorrow (our aching lungs cast into a sky of wings) and dream of better places where we're happy (and for the first time we can truly breathe)
So, I see this poem as wishing good night.
Potential title: Good night. :)
Thank you for the suggestion. I like it.
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Thank you very much.
Perfect work
Thank you.
Short and sweet. Really liked it!
Thank you.