It was just for one night
in that dimly lit izakaya
that his blood pressure was elevated to
the dizzying heights of Nanda Devi —
the snowy summit that he used to climb.
Booze blew through his nostrils
as he drank one too many shots
of sake and wrapped his arms around
a woman with an ivory face —
the white paint of which he did not peel away
with his fingertips before that night.
But the paint was peeling and
the flakes were falling
from the wall in the master bedroom that night
where his wife was still on her knees,
praying that Mr. Sakhoby will have safety
on his business trip —
she did not rest her aching joints
on satin sheets.
Hers was not the only sheets left untouched,
for out in the streets that very night
was his firstborn — and only — son
biking around in the back alleys
with his newly adopted blood brothers
and getting his first taste of ecstasy —
to jump out of the marbled cell and fly away.
Neither Mrs. nor Sakhoby Jr. knew
how in that night his blood pressure shot up
in a flurry of ecstatic kisses, and how
in the land where the sun rises he could do nothing
but leave before the cock crowed.
This was an original poem exploring the intersection between family disintegration and substance abuse.
Upvotes and comments are always appreciated! ❤️
Beautiful and poignant.
Selffishness is the first ingredient of desintegration and everything falls after that.
Beautiful images, very elegant depiction of what otherwise might have been a nasty element in the equation. It is certainly one of the most damaging.
May none of our kids go through the hells of drug abuse and all the evils that accompany it.
@hlezama TOTALLY AGREE. Selfishness is the first ingredient, when everyone wants their own way the familial structure falls apart.
I write this in the hopes that it will stir people to avoid that evil.
The way your poetry flows is amazing, @joeylim! Transitions like this...
... are not easy to do well (in my experience, anyway), and you've used them here with great success. Wonderful, evocative, prose, and...
Awwww THANK YOU @traciyork ((': <3
Do you write poems too?
You're very welcome, @joeylim! And I do the occasional poem here and there - my last attempts were a bunch of (intentionally) silly haikus. 😊
WOW!
I enjoyed it. Well done, @joeylim This was visceral and very real!
Thanks @thekittygirl for presenting this on @pypt #pypt
@bluefinstudios Thank you!! I felt sad in the midst of writing too.
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You can find the community announcement on Discord :) and it has also been shared on our FB Page and Twitter feed.
This really means alot to me. ((':Awww thanks @steemitbloggers! ❤️
It's well deserved! wow
That's a nice one. You can use #creativecoin tag to get creativecoin tokens. :)
Thanks @rem-steem! Oh yes I forgot about that coin, the reminder came just on time!! 🌻
Nicely expressed poetry @joeylim well done!
Thanks Joan!! (:
Well told, clear and concise, with a touch of pathos
Thanks, my friend @wales ((:
Nicely done @joeylim!
Appreciate it ((:
Just only WOW
I agree! Fabulous work.
Hugsss @brittandjosie <3
A potent poem here my friend!
Blessings!
Have a blessed day too @papilloncharity!! (:
Hello!
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Keep up the great work!Much love to you from all of us at @helpie!
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The cake is really delicious @helpiecake ((':
Excellent poem! I am floored. There are so many overlapping and powerful moments/events/misconceptions that I'll be chewing on this one for days. How do I get the attention of @curie on this one? Hopefully I just did.
@owasco My heart is just so filled that you will be chewing on this one for days <3 Thanks so much!!
Wonderful poetry, delving into the depths of something we can't prepare for, and that we don't really understand until it visits us personally. Very moving.
((: For someone to say this, is my greatest reward for writing this. Thank you @free-reign.
@joeylim Very poignant poem. Substance abuse and the effects on the families is a real topic of concern.
Thank you @blueeyes8960 - it is a concern close to my heart.
The upshot is an upvote on the last shot by a parting poet. Get those creativecoins rolling.
Thanks @julianhorack, I should remember to use the #creativecoin tag next time!! (:
Beautiful my friend, just beautifully done! :)
Awww thank you @nickyhavey ((:
POWER!!!
fist bump!!
Am a huge cat lover too <3
Perfect @joeylim, you really rocked this one. 👍👍
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Thank you so much @wonderwop ((:
Wowow ....I never knew the secret poet in you. Perfect line...
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Hahaha it's been there all along XD Thanks!!
This is a wonderful piece of work with great imagery and interesting twists. I love the segue between each of the verses. Nicely executed and fascinating! Bravo! 🙌 Love the image you chose, too!
~resteemed~
Tagging @enginewitty so he will see this poem...
Was on my list and rebrought to my attn on pypt, thank you Kitty. My kind of soul searching here. Great poem @joeylim😎
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@enginewitty I'm so glad you find it thought provoking ((:
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@thekittygirl Thank you - you don't know how much of an encouragement this is!! <3 also for sharing it with your friends as well, I'm grateful ((':
Here are a few SHADE tokens for you; you can check your tokens on Steem-Engine
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WOW!! Yeah I saw some commenting they came by because of #pypt.
What can I say...
I'm really really touched. Thank you so much <3 <3
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Thanks for sharing on Pimp Your Post Thursday
Hi thekittygirl the SHADE tokens are on the way.
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oh lovely poetry.found it in #pypt discord,
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Ohhh, thank you for dropping by and for your kind words! ((:
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Nice job. Much of the poetry you read in places like this is hackneyed, but this actually had a good ring to it. Very well done @joeylim.
This is a huge compliment coming from you @blockurator! It truly means alot to me ((':
You’ve really captured a family flying apart so poignantly, @joeylim. When we don’t put energy and love into our relationships, they can’t be sustained. Beautiful work, my friend.
So true! Emphasis needs to be given to cultivate flourishing relationships.
Thank you ((':@jayna you understood it - "a family flying apart".
Your post was mentioned in the Steem Hit Parade in the following category:Congratulations @joeylim!
Thanks @arcange! (:
Yayy! Lucky me ((:
Beautifully written and presented @joeylim.