Hello Steemians!
So today I decided to write another poem about feeling invisible and second best because let's face it, who hasn't felt like that at least once? Exactly.
Anyways, enjoy :)
A girl walked down the walk,
But it wasn't as if anybody saw;
Nervously gripping her frock,
She looked if anybody gawked.
And then in comes another girl,
She stole the show with a single twirl.
Pretty, tall, slim.
How could she ever compare?
In the middle of the bustling crowd,
on the brink of despair,
She howled
I'm standing right there,
Aren't I?
Look at me! Look at me! Oh,
When will I wake from this nightmare?
I'm pretty too, can't you see?
Here, there, anywhere.
Nowhere.
Is this the Wasteland, that fellow spoke of?
Hello, hello,
Am I speaking or am I weeping?
How can I not know?
Peek-a-boo,
Peek-a-boo
Now you see me and now you don't.
Let me know what you think!
Hey! I like the ideas that you're exploring here- they are definitely relevant to a lot of women. I think you might avoid rhetorical questions in the next one, at least a series of them- they aren't as effective in poetry when there are a lot of them. Also, make sure that your rhyme scheme forms a pattern of some kind- your first stanza and your second stanza have a couple of lines that rhyme, then the rest of the stanzas don't have any rhyme at all. If you're on discord at all, I run a poetry workshop at the Minnow Support Project and at the Writers Block that you're welcome to put your poetry in prior to posting and get some feedback!
Thanks for the constructive feedback! I really appreciate it. You're right, I do tend to overuse rhetorical questions haha. I'll also try to work on the rhyme scheme. Wow, I didn't know there were workshops I could join! I'll definitely join them as I do need the extra help :)
❤ I love talking the craft! Feel free to tag me if you end up joining either group.
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