Before I start posting all of my writing, I just want to say, it's been a long road for me. Some of these are old, some new, but all with the same motivation. I find comfort in words, metaphors and images. I find it much less of a daunting task to deal with emotions and life through my writing. To meet me in person, I'm rarely one to show if I have a bad day. I like to get it all out via art or writing of some sort. I'm a firm believer that difficult trials in life accompany a lesson. I use those lessons to create... 😊 So I'll start with this one as I continue to load some of the others. Thank you for taking time to read!
Comfortably Numb
I vaguely hear the cries from my soul, which is quite a stranger to me these days. I pay little attention to the painful sounds, as It makes one last desperate attempt to make me feel guilty.
But It's not like It was a bet, or a game played and lost. The trade was fair and in my favor. Staring through wide open eyes at an almost mirror image of myself being drug away,
She reaches a hand out as though there were something around she could grab onto,
Something capable of holding her still...
The scene before me gives me slight chills. But they are gone faster than they fell upon me. It's a little alarming watching as she stumbles and falls over the betrayals and misfortunes in her way, But more frustrating for me to see someone so intelligent be so incredibly ignorant.
Stupidity causing her to trip over the same types of objects right in front of her face. I decide not to lend a helping hand or call out a warning.
The cold air where I sit feels so comforting. As I continue to review her, I see an abundance of scars I hadn't noticed before. Doesn't look like something I would care to keep much anyways. It was only a matter of time and I would have thrown it away.
Some of the wounds that have healed still only show me soft skin that can be easily torn. Why would I fight to keep someone like her? Bruises around her neck from Dependency's ropes make me think it had to have been almost impossible to breathe.
I can almost recall the choking myself, the marks are so dark. Thin streams of bright red blood show through her clothing. This leads me to believe her thought process is useless and also rather rude. For it wasn't even kind enough to remind her the dangers of holding harms hand. Allowing new wounds to open, almost as if an invisible knife was sliding right through her skin.
Making me think, What a waste of a Pretty blue sweater, She could have at least taken it off first...
Now those stains will never come out.
A nauseous feeling overwhelms me as I stare at the battered reflection of myself, Those eyes were so pretty when they were brand new. Like a passage to beautiful scenery, However, tears coming out of them now. They are broken and causing her view to be distorted. I am irritated because they are blocking my view. Disgusted and impatient, I wait for the tears to stop. I smile as I watch the drops of weakness stream down her cheeks, falling to the ground where they belong.
I am still bewildered as to why anyone would want to own this pitiful mess & waste of time, in trade for giving me everything I ever wanted.
Laughing at my gain over the dark fool whose pace is quickening. Having to drag the ghost of myself out behind him, He turns and smiles as if to offer me one last chance to change my mind.
I am humored at this crazy thought, and I wave goodbye as he pulls his worn out toy through the doorway to eternity. It won't be long before he realizes it is worthless, But there is no turning back then, What's done is done.
I finally feel free...
Like the weight of the world has just been lifted off of me. However, I must have been watching for longer than I realized because A tingling sensation accompanies my entire body. Telling me it has fallen asleep from lack of movement.
Funny, This has never happened before.
I guess I will wait before I try to get up,
At least my mind is kind enough to remind me I will fall.
Everything I have ever wanted will still be there waiting for me when I am ready.
Plus I am in no hurry, and it's so comfortable here.
For once it is peaceful too...
It feels like years have passed, so I am guessing the hands of time decided it was going to move more rapidly these days.
I wonder how much longer this numb feeling will last?