Throwback Poem-Off: Different Time a Different World (Original Poetry)

in #poetry7 years ago (edited)

And so the poetry turns to me as the poetic dance of poems gone passed keeps on longer than expected to last.

Below is my response to @uniwhisp's latest poem: Knowing

Different Time a Different World

A different time a different world
My thoughts and desires would be heard
A simple smile, a little smirk
To make this happen I'd put in work

Face to face, your eyes look into mine
My emotions stir up to the highest of highs

Eyelids close, yearning to lean in for a kiss
Senses quickly come to me, I must abort and quit
My daydream of bliss will certainly have to be missed
Cus in this time and world
That situation cannot exist

These words are not met for trouble, I'm not naïve
Just wanted to release some creative energy
So, hope you enjoyed and had some fun
Cus here and now this poem is done
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What's a poem-off, you ask? A challenge between @uniwhisp and I to see if we can go turn-for-turn and repost some of our long lost poems from the vaults of time. No rules apply, and new stuff might just make the mix!

Regards,
Mitchell J

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Two things that stood out to me: one is that you used "cus" and that's an intriguing word selection (makes me wonder why you picked cus for because?).

The other artistic aspect that stood out is that you chose the word "abort". Obviously this poem is of a romantic tone, and abort is abrupt and also has the connotation of, like, aborting a child. It felt abrupt, and that's probably what you were going for anyway.

great job! :)

Too be honest, when I wrote back then everything was based off how it flowed in my head. Almost like a spoken word. I would write to that flow and choose words accordingly, whether they were the best choice for form or not ;-)

Ooo, forbidden love! I definitely want to hear the backstory on this one. :D

In my early days in Florida, my friend Claudia had a friend names Natalie. I was very much a fan of her from the moment I saw here, despite the fact she was 6 months pregnant hahaha with here A-hole of a boyfriend. Big surprise they did not last. lol.

I enjoyed this freeform poetry.

So...do song lyrics count? I have written 2 1/2 songs in my lifetime, and one of them has a great theme to go with this. But the lyrics by themselves don't read well in terms of rhythm. I just may have to record it... or find something else.

Dooooooooo it! I posted a poem or two that didn't rhyme all that great - have at it :-) The only rule we have is if you think it works, then it works!