It’s not the butterflies you get when your favorite sports team is down.
It’s not the tingling sensation you get when you hear your mother yell out your full name.
It’s not the feeling of your stomach churning when you forgot you had an exam today.
It’s the debilitating and paralyzing sensation when she lies to you again and again.
It’s the feeling that your stomach, heart, and soul are all melting into a puddle of crushing sadness when she goes off with people who hurt her.
It’s the overwhelming rush of nausea that you suffer through when she disrespects you despite all that you have done for her.
Anxiety to me is when the person I love most pretends I don’t exist or tells others horrible lies about me.
It’s when I spend hours every day helping her but in the end she throws it all in the garbage.
It’s when she hurts me yet I would never hurt her.
But despite all she does to push me away,
Despite the painful and twisted words,
Despite the obvious lack of respect for me,
I will always love her and watch out for her.
---
I've known this feeling, and it can be rough. The time that it happened to me most intensely was back in 1977, and the song by Barbara Mandrell called Years really reminds me of my feelings for this guy. While I'll never again be in love with him, he still has special real estate in my heart, and I'll always be his friend...
Thank you for sharing that, I'm sorry you had to have a similar experience. However, with the right outlook, everything is a learning experience and I believe I've found positivity in my situation
He and I aren't getting any younger, and I hope that 2018 -- or, perhaps, even during what remains of 2017 -- will find us connected on Facebook. We now live several hundred miles apart, but I don't believe that we're meant to never be in touch again. I've done a lot of growing up in the nearly-41 years since that time in the spring of 1977 when I felt like flying, and I believe that he has, too. I believe that we have goals and dreams that we're meant to come together to make happen because we're both about making reading fun for kids and keeping it fun for them as they mature. This guy was quite the storyteller, and I never grew tired of hearing him talk about his experiences. In fact, I even wrote a children's story that was inspired by one of the stories that he told about his own childhood. I need to write about us soon!!!
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