Random writings and some deep shit...

in #poetry6 years ago

First of all I want to apologize to you all for not being around as much as I would like to be lately. I really do miss all the content that you post like the super awesome music that is made here, reading the amazing stories you write, and seeing the great art work. Not to mention just you yourselves in all your unique beauty. But... unfortunately it has been because I am trying to focus on my mental health right now.

Now, I am not telling you this to get pity or make excuses for not being around, just explaining what has been going on lately. When I was in my early 20's and having some medical issues, I was seeing a therapist and psychologist when they diagnosed me with Bipolar Depression and severe anxiety. Anyway, long story short... I learned to control it on my own but now it's getting out of hand once again, in fact probably the worst it's ever been. I don't take medication because of the stomach problems that 19+ pills a day gave me 15 years ago (plus I'm broke and have no insurance). So I have been trying to find ways to control it once again on my own, which has been a hard thing to do. There have been some long days in bed, being a hermit in my house, and wondering about my future. And as you can understand, getting on the computer has been tough for me when even waking up in the morning is a chore. Call it a midlife crisis or whatever but it's been hard. Please take no insult or think that I am gone... Because I am still here. I'm just trying to fix myself before doing other things in life right now.

So with all that out of the way, I wanted to share some things that I have written in the past few months. I also figured it would help me get out of this funk and post more. Because even though my manic up and down episodes are horrible for my life, they seem to produce some good creativity and a flow of writings for me. It is like my music and it's a rock in my life and helps me through. So at least there is a positive in it! Haha!

This is a poem that I wrote for my closest friend who is my moon sister. She has also been a huge help in all of this craziness going on. It was her birthday and being the broke bitch that I am, I decided that I would write her a special something to let her know how important she was to me.

moon_title.jpg

She's my light in this darkness, the moon of my sky
There when the night is long, she is always nigh

Staying close in the darkest of times
Kissing me softly as the sun slowly climbs

"I knew you could do it" she whispered in my ear
"I always had faith in you, I never had fear"

Because she didn’t mind feeling my pain
And never judged me for my crimes
Showing me that scars can be beautiful... sometimes

There she stayed despite the darkness
Always by my side
Forever shining in my dark, cold sky


There you have the first of hopefully many coming in the next few weeks. I hope that you are all doing well and I send you the deepest of love in this cold, harsh world. Remember to always be kind and keep rockin'!

horns.png


blog_ender_single.jpg

Spotify


Itunes:
https://itunes.apple.com/…/album/my-wings-single/1406513977…
Google Play:
https://play.google.com/…/alb…/Sacrifice_the_Truth_My_Wings…
Tidal:
http://www.tidal.com/album/91349007
Deezer:
https://www.deezer.com/album/67359602
Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F6WNVL2

Thanks for looking and hope to see you again soon!
Ask me how to join the Steemit Local Music Society
and Metal Tribe on Discord!
Banner made by @bembelmaniac

rockchickjen_banner.jpg

stt_cod_blogend.jpg
Check out other artists from Circle of Death and keep up to date with the Website and Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/circleofdeathrecords
https://circleofdeathrecords.com/

Sort:  

Stay strong. <3

I'm tryin' dude. ;)

Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by Rock Chick Jen from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.

If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP.
Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.


This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
@c-squared runs a community witness. Please consider using one of your witness votes on us here

Hang in there, lady! Depression is a monster and and it affects even some of the strongest people. You’re right, though, sometimes it can bring our your creativity. That poem was beautiful, and I’m sure she loved it more than anything money can buy!

Looking after you health is definitely something to prioritise. I like your poem, finding that silver lining in bad situations is the best thing we can do sometimes. 🤘 Rock on girl!

Hello @rockchickjen, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!

Hey Jen ☺

Sorry I didn't see this until now. I have missed you here ☺
I want you to know I really enjoy your creativity in music, poetry and writing about your life here on Steemit. And you are right, going thru the hard shit brings out the best creativeness sometimes. I know you will put it to good use. Don't know if you use discord much but I will send you a message there! Take your time, and do what is best for you to get thru this. You don't owe anyone an apology here, you're just missed!

Hello @rockchickjen! This is a friendly reminder that you have 3000 Partiko Points unclaimed in your Partiko account!

Partiko is a fast and beautiful mobile app for Steem, and it’s the most popular Steem mobile app out there! Download Partiko using the link below and login using SteemConnect to claim your 3000 Partiko points! You can easily convert them into Steem token!

https://partiko.app/referral/partiko

Congratulations @rockchickjen! You received a personal award!

Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!

You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking

Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:

New japanese speaking community Steem Meetup badge
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!