How Do You Know My Name? -- Original Poetry

[ssimkins9]

These paper hands scratch away, searching for recompense.
Like a rabid dog, pushed onward only by compulsion,
I'm not sure why I'm even here again.

My suspended place has been invaded.
I don't recognize the faces of those,
who call my world their home.

Whose arm is that around my neck?
Whose finger is that down my throat?
I spew the contents of my forsaken soul
up onto the walls of my hiding space.

My secret canvas.

It burns.
Like the way whiskey burns away the shame of a wasted life.
It’s times like these when I crave
the ledge of my neighborhood parking garage.

A cigarette.
Business end in my mouth, hotbox in my skin.

~Sam


Image Sources: Alone

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Comments

[t8scones]

@sskimkins9 this is absolutely beautiful poetry keep it up and STEEM ON!!

[ssimkins9]

Thank you so much. That really means a lot! :)

[joshbillings]

Loved this!

I spew the contents of my forsaken soul
up onto the walls of my hiding space.

It burns.
Like the way whiskey burns away the shame of a wasted life.

Can totally related to this from spending years hiding away from others, so desperate to not be judged that I would rather waste my life than share it.

[ssimkins9]

Thanks, friend!

so desperate to not be judged that I would rather waste my life than share it.

That is pretty much exactly how I have felt about blogging (especially sharing poetry). I do not consider myself a poet and I have very little experience in creative writing, but my internal feelings have often come out in poetry-esk ways. I am sure there are countless technical/practical skills or rules that I blow right past. I would write things down, but never consider sharing. Your comment is helping me build up the confidence to continue sharing and stop hiding!

[joshbillings]

but my internal feelings have often come out in poetry-esk ways

Mmhmm! That's because what's inside you is deep and meaningful and valuable! Because what's inside of you, is something that's inside all of us. So when you share it, you give us all a chance to look more deeply at ourselves.

Your comment is helping me build up the confidence to continue sharing and stop hiding!

Awesome!!! Look forward to seeing more!

[ssimkins9]

It is easy for me to believe that about others. It is a on-going battle to accept that for myself. But, I am not where I was. Progress is precious.

[joshbillings]

Yeah, self love is often the toughest because we know ourselves so much better than everyone else. Others hide and only show certain parts of themselves, just like we used to, the only difference is we can't hide our stuff from ourselves, so we will often look worse than others by comparison.

But, I am not where I was. Progress is precious.

Well said!

[ssimkins9]

we will often look worse than others by comparison.

Yes yes. And the internet, in large part, has amplified this for most of us.