Of all the posts you've written, this may be my favorite. There is so much here that relates to adults, as well as children. When is courage cultivated? When does cowardice become a life habit? Does a child "behave" because he is obliged or because he has internalized values that were taught? The answer to this is one that will influence his life into adulthood.
I think you should be so pleased he talked it over with you. Of course he didn't listen, but he shared. He trusted you, and he expected you to understand, if not agree. That's a wonderful achievement, for you, as a parent. If children don't internalize our values, then they and we are lost.
And you are so right to point out that as noble as our behavior may be, the courage comes with accepting consequences. And for sure, look to himself, his own energy consumption.
I can't think of one thing you did wrong in this scenario...everything from your worry to calling the school was, in my opinion, right on target. That's just my opinion.
Congratulations on raising a son who cares about something larger than himself, and who is willing to share that concern with you.
Thank you so much. I see that you also take on the parents perspective.
Yes, it took courage from my son to give me notice that evening. He was a little clumsy about it but nevertheless managed to do it. I can still remember how it feels when one wanted to disobey and was afraid in doing so.
For a parent, things often are so much more complex and putting oneself in the shoe of a young one who thinks of the world in a more simple way it's sometimes hard to be patient as the children have a long way ahead in understanding that they know less than they think they do.
It doesn't get boring this way :)
😇