Future edit: I was wrong, it's brooms. Broomsexuals, they put googly eyes on the broom and dress it in clothing. They stick it in the bristles for friction and call it bristling. They're readying the hot coals for me now, but you may still be saved. It's broom fucking you need to get behind, ASAP
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Keep my future wife's name out your mouth
Broomhilda