Luckily, we do communicate quite openly and more so than that, I’ve made an effort in recent months to not let other things - or people - distract me from her. And the funny thing is that I fantasize less than I used to. I think, maybe, part of it was the way I was struggling to adapt to the confines of “married life” expectations...and I have slowly been accepting the reality that I am the sort of person who needs boundaries.
But, I am also like the neighborhood cats, who need to bound around outside once in a while. Funny thing, too, is that while my wife is definitely more traditional...she’s far less traditional than she was when we first met in Korea. Life in America, away from her parents, has helped her blossom. She’s definitely more open to my sexual proclivities and appetite than she used to be, though we’ve a ways to go.
One thing is for sure: Married life isn’t perfect, but I am happier than I was when I didn’t know who - if anyone - I would be going to bed with each night. I didn’t get married until I was ready for it (I’m 37 now, was 36 when we got married). I was once engaged to a girl from France, while living in Israel, at age 23. I definitely know I would’ve gotten divorced from her - we fought as often as we fucked, and the sex wasn’t good enough to make up for all the other shit.
I’m glad to hear communications is working and that you’re taking it slow. She sounds like a wonderful woman and it’s amazing how you have givin her this new life style where she can grow. You sound pretty cool. Lol
I wish I would have waited to get married till after I was 30 (That was the only advice my brother gave me and I totally disregarded it) or till I understood myself a bit more. It sounds like you made some pretty solid decisions in your life.
Feel free to check out my Polly post again. I really enjoyed your feedback.
I tell ya, it took a lot of trial and error for me to get this way. It’s wisdom I wish I’d been born with, but experience has been a good-enough teacher instead. I had a pretty good example in my Dad and Stepmom’s relationship, too. That gave me a standard to aspire to.
And, she is truly a wonderful woman, my wife. Changed me in ways measurable and immeasurable. Loves me the way I always wished I would be loved. We are perfectly imperfect for each other!
I’ll definitely check it out again. I’ve enjoyed this, too!