How to Talk Without Speaking

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I don't know of a human alive who has stuck to every statement they've ever made. Us homo sapiens are big talkers; we love speaking plans, goals, and promises into the world. But speaking them into the world and speaking them into reality are two different things. It can be far too easy to simply discuss an idea out loud without ever attempting to take action on it. We've all been there; better eating, more exercise, more work, fixing the broken thing in our house, the list goes on and on of things we want to accomplish but may not ever really get to. Although the real work lies in taking action, there's a simple method to making sure we don't get caught up in lying to ourselves and others:


don't let your words do the talking.


As the old saying goes, the smallest action means more than the biggest intent. Although that's mostly used in relation to other people (sending a text to a friend in need instead of wanting to buy them a large gift but never following through), this can also be extrapolated to our relationships with ourselves. We can intend to buy more fresh produce, put it on our shopping list, and look at it in the store, but even buying one pack of blueberries means more than a list of 100 items that go unbought.

Although it's great for holding ourselves accountable, this principle is understandably important for dealing with other people as well. Showing up for our people is undoubtedly the best way to prove our love. The words "love you" to a friend mean a ton, but doing things that help them feel that on a visceral level is what's truly important. Giving rides when needed, picking up chocolate for them when they're down, or simply being an ear when they need someone to listen, these all are ways to reinforce our love and relationships we have with those closest to us.

The dopamine rush of writing down a good idea or planning a week of healthy eating is similar to a premature feeling of accomplishment. We did half of the plan, why finish the rest? We thought of our friend or told them we'd help if needed, do we really need to follow through? Our brains are wired to make us as lazy as possible. But the payoff from finishing what we thought of is greater than any sense of saved time or energy that we may think will come from avoiding the real work. Our words matter, but our actions do the real speaking.

"A Single Seed" is my attempt to get out one idea every day that I've learned or accumulated over the years, with the hope that it may stick in someone else's memory bank as well. The idea may be related to fitness, business, life, or philosophy, but I think you'll find that many can change domains if you wish them to. With each seed planted, a new life awaits.

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