It is the greatest atrocity when women become victims of drunken or angry husbands, or fathers, or sons, or brothers to take the brunt of their emotions on the females present in the household. The most widely perceived notion is that domestic violence among women is one of the common issues of the lower class people. But women from higher classes are also the ones equally affected by the abuse of their trusted family member.
“Higher-income people hide behind what I call a veil of silence,” says Dr. Susan Weitzman, founder of the Weitzman Center, an advocacy organization that raises awareness about what she calls upscale abuse. “They believe it’s only happening to them. No one can hear you scream on a 3-acre lot.”
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The abuse among the higher class people is not even considered as an abuse sometimes because one day the husband might physically and emotionally abuse her and the other day he might bring her overpriced clothes, jewelry and flowers. When there are such variations in mood swings, the woman gets caught up between the real truth and her own version of the easily acceptable truth, as she doesn’t want to accept the reality of the situation behind it.
The starting point of the abuse may be because of infertility issues, dowry demands, being more socially outgoing, conversing with a male friend, coming home late at night, alcoholic husband etc. Most of these women are nothing short of highly literate, respectable and sometimes even successful individuals in the society. These are women with hefty bank accounts, drive around in expensive cars, wearing branded dresses, and act as a prized possession for the husband to boast around in his parties. These are women who make other women envy them.
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But inside their household, they are being slapped, beaten hard, being thrown at with whatever object the man could lay his hands on, locked up, left behind to bleed, and whatever sort of things he feels would inflict pain.
Then why don’t such literate women leave their husband? Rebecca J. Burns says, “When I am asked why a woman doesn’t leave abuser I say: Women stay because the fear of leaving is greater than the fear of staying. They will leave when the fear of staying is greater than the fear of leaving.”
Several self-help groups are striving hard to save such women. But what is harder for them to help is that it is very difficult to identify such women unless they come out on their own. But some don’t even let the truth of what is happening to them, to sink in. Whatever is happening is too hard for them to accept that their life is not a normal one. Even when they accept it, they stay with their husband for the benefit of their children, or are threatened or sometimes even have a blind faith that he might change sooner, as he shows good and bad mood swings alternatively, making her believe in that possibility.
What they need is a reality check; make them realize that it is nothing normal for being subjected to domestic violence. Unless they are pulled out from that trance and help them find a voice for themselves, no one can really help them. For making them realize that, several seminars and activities have to be inculcated in the places where most of these elite women go to, as they need someone to look at them and tell them that, ‘It is not normal’.
Domestic violence is a slow poison for women. it's very emotional and touchy topic .Your initiative is very good by the such a good post.
In India
its sad that at this time and age we have such things happening any abuse is wrong no matter what, its time we take a stand and say no and our no be NO
That is what exactly is needed and it has to come from women, for women, and by women.
Hi Pramesh ... very touchy topic and very well handled I would say! Kudos to you man!
I can completely relate to your thoughts, as I have seen this happen! It is sometimes very disheartening and painful to see how such couples (may be men in most cases) just throw it away.
Two of the biggest reasons for this to continue happening are -
Children - most the moms don't want to ruin the life of their kids, and hence they just continue taking the pain.
Absence of true friends - such women generally do not have true friends close to them. Friends who can listen, friends who can advice and friends who can show them the correct path. Sometimes, it helps a lot by just having them there and listening to the pains!
I do hope that with our social norms changing fast, this will also change with time, and domestic violence will come to an end.
Amen to that!
Take care brother! Keep the thoughts flowing!
Upvoted you 100% for picking such a painful and glaring topic, and doing justice with it!
And what a coincidence! This was my 50th post on Steemit! :)
Hi Tony - feels so gr8 when someone likes your thoughts. Hope more and and more we write about such things more are the chances that change will happen
Yes brother, you are correct. Change will happen, and I am very hopeful about it!
hi brother! i am following you and up vote .your post is supper photography.so you up vote me and following .....@sarowar
Thanx bro
Good thoughts
Thnk u
Inspiring. Would work on this
My mom is a lawyer, and my step dad was Governor and later minister of my country. Yet he used to beat my mom regularly, my sister's too... he even pushed my oldest sister out of a driving car once... All my mother's children begged him to leave, yet she stayed with him for almost 10 years. It's hard to understand why people accept this kind of abuse... it was very damaging...
i am sure it would have been tough to live those days and even recalling those memories is full of pain. You are brave to speak it out.
Yes, I believe we live lives we need to learn from. This is part of my life lesson... I really hope we can learn to treat each other better though...