Hello @medusaeffect :)
What a great question! For which there's no simple answer :) and that's because the picture isn't as straight forwards as : mother's approval = affected child's self-acceptance. That was indeed Jacob's instance, but it doesn't mean all boys develop that way. He, in particular, was very dependent on his mum. And his mum was also very dependent on him. In emotional terms.
But, what's a mother to do? Offering a secure-base to their children is a good start. Which means give their children freedom to go out in the world to explore, to learn through mistakes while letting them know they have a safe base to return to for guidance and reassurance. See, this is what Jacob didn't have. He was overprotected.
Also, studies have found Ref. that the most efficient way parents have to build their children's self-esteem is by encouraging their efforts, rather than their intellectual capacities.
I hope this helps. If you have any further queries just let me know.
Thank you for stopping by,
Best,
Abigail
Develop self-esteem by encouraging character sounds great. I have a theory that children who experience difficulty learn to persevere, but this might be an excuse for mom's to do poorly. In actuality, is is a gripe about trying really hard and ending up with sore results.