Having the determination to solve problems is sure an asset when it comes to emotions. But, I would like to make an observation, if I may. Anger is associated with physical illness (eg. high blood pressure, heart problems etc..), and this is perhaps one of the reasons why your partner would like to see you approaching life issues from a calmer perspective.
I like how you show self-understanding here @sevendst19. It shows that you engage in self-reflection and have found a way to 'get things done'. And since you appear to be a reflective man, let me propose a new angle from which you can see the world around you:
Unfortunately, the moments in life during which nothing is wrong are quite rare! Don't you think? Yet, you can still be positive about your existence through seeking solutions. You said you are the type of guy determined to solve problems, that in itself is a positive outlook. Focusing on the problem would be a negative one.
As for 'happy', well that is subjective. Nevertheless, when you are positive about the way you address issues, that enhances subjective well-being (how you feel inside) and pushes anger to the side. For someone like you: confident and self-aware, I don't see why this couldn't also be an effective way of fixing problems. After all it is not always productive to adopt cognitive inflexibility
when I cant deal with them the way I know works
You certainly do; but, why not give other ways a little try? Ways that not only might prove efficient, but that also prevents ill-health and contributes to bringing harmony to your home :)
All the best to you & thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment!