This post is so rich in ideas--there can be no simple (for me) response to it. One of the first things I did when reading was go back to your previous post on the need for approval. Between them, these two blogs can replace months of 'talk therapy'. As is usual with your writing, the individual (I) reflect as reading progresses. I relate your insights to my own life and actions. I see myself, and don't see myself. But in that process of agreeing and differing, I learn.
I thought, as I read this blog, of how I met my husband. It was an odd situation. We were both members of a clearly defined group. We wore distinctive clothing that set us apart from people who were not in our profession. Mostly, our occupational group was tied together by one common purpose--we all needed to make money. That was the single greatest common denominator. Unfortunately, I think this financial need led to a certain amount of corruption. So my clothing and the drive to earn money tied me to the group, but the corruption isolated me. Two very strong, conflicting associations.
My husband joined after I did. He shared the desire to earn money and the requirement to wear a certain kind of clothing. He also had disdain for corruption. Beyond that, I don't think we had very much in common. And yet we were drawn to each other. A very long marriage has resulted.
Over the years, our differences have become a joke- "Of course you don't like it, because I do"--but the bonds have become stronger.
So, in a way, group identification, or failure to identify with a group, became the glue that made a marriage.
There is, of course, so much more, general insight, in your blog, particularly in these days when the inclination to identify with group has led to hyperbolic public discourse. Not just in the US, but also Europe. Tension over group identification is running high these days. We would all do well to try and understand the underpinning of that identification, I think, as we privately find ourselves positioned in these very consequential public dialogues.
You see, nothing simple in my response to this thought-provoking and helpful blog. A most valuable addition to my thought day.
I hope the sun is shining for you, in Portugal. Great affection going your way...❤
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This is an interesting topic isn't it @agmoore? One that I find very complex indeed.
Even more so, when, like you said, we put it in the context of some current events. And, of course, it was one of these very events that drove me to put these thoughts together and share here with you. While these processes underlying our social attitudes frame our thoughts they don't have to determine our behaviour. And I believe that it is through understanding them that we can become more humane, towards everyone. Of course, for that to happen, rather than narrowing our identities (e.g: I see myself as a Buddhist) , we must expand them (e.g: I am a believer). Then, we will see more of ourselves in others, relate to them and nurture a more welcoming mindset.
I liked SO much how you illustrated your understanding of this discussion by going to and fro your experiences as an individual and as a group member, together with your husband. Further, this is a beautiful sentence :)
We had a beautiful sunny day here today! :D
And it looks like it will continue like this throughout the coming week. I will have a sunny 37th birthday ;)
❤
Happy Birthday! Dear @abigail-dantes 🎂
Such a young woman (from my perspective), with so much wisdom. I can imagine what the years will bring.
I am so glad the sun is shining. Enjoy today, and all the days ahead. ❤
THANK YOU 😊