Postponing
Do you ever get into the situation where someone does something really sweet for you? Doesn't matter, big or small - you just feel they appreciated you in such a friendly and caring way. And then you feel you want to give something in return. Something that isn't all too obvious, but something to let them know how you enjoyed receiving their (small) token of appreciation.
You kind of want to do something special in return, and you kind of don't know what exactly it should be, and you kind of postpone and then you don't do anything.
Maybe it's just me, and all of you are way more on top of things :). But today I was (again) reminded of a situation like this that I created for myself, and I wanted to share with all of you just as the perfect example of how a lot of energy goes to waste when we don't follow up on our intentions, when we don't fulfil the words we give to others and to ourselves .
A birthday present
For my birthday, around half a year back already, I got the above little box in my mail. Inside, it had this collection of tiny cards, all of them created by the 4 kids of a family where I used to babysit.
In front it said 'happy birthday', then behind there were a whole of bunch of super cute images made by those 4 kids. All of them had added to the collection, had proudly put their names below the pictures they made, had written something sweet on the back. And the whole effort they all put in really melted my heart.
And this was exactly one of those small tokens of appreciation that I really enjoyed. Which I planned to respond to. Where I gave myself a word, made myself a promise of sending something nice back to them. Not so literally maybe, not like I said it out loud - just the thoughts were there that I should (and wanted to) send something in return.
Really!?
Of course, just after getting the cute box in my mail, I could have sent the mom a text message telling her how super sweet the whole thing was and ask her to say thanks to the kids, but I felt that was a lousy response. I wanted to send the kids something which they could also read.
So I planned on finding a super cool postcard to thank them all. But I just didn't come across a card I felt was cool enough. Then I planned on getting them a card for the holiday season, wishing them a happy new year and inviting them all to come over again sometime. But the holidays were coming and going super fast. Then finally maybe a week back I got them a simple card, actually too boring for kids maybe but I was at a place where they were selling postcards and I got this 'now or never' feeling. And I thought I'd send them the rather boring card but I'd add this cute little book that I'd gotten somewhere, with maps to walking tours through Rotterdam especially suited for kids.
Finally, resolved the issue!
But... when I came home I couldn't find that little book anywhere. And now I thought to at least post the card, but even that seems to be lost. Oh. My. Goodness.
A waste of time AND energy
Isn't it amazing how many times my thoughts went out to it, how many times I pondered over it, how many times I took half an action - without 'resolving the matter at hand'?. And I didn't even mention the irritation that builds, which we feel towards ourselves for not taking the action required to fulfil our intention.
Life is full of these little things, these small things, unresolved things that our thoughts keep spinning back to. The words we give ourselves and the words we give to others are not a thing to take lightly. The words we put out have a lot of power, and they'll keep pulling us back. When you experience a lot of chaos in your thinking, it is worth checking if you have a lot of words still standing out, which need to be fulfilled for you to let them go. It will actually, in a VERY PRACTICAL WAY, increase your peace of mind if you fulfil the promises you made.
Confidence
Unfulfilled words drain us of energy and create chaos in us. Another thing they do, is they eat away at our self-confidence and at the confidence others have of us. You gave yourself a word to eat more healthy? But it doesn't happen? Maybe a few weeks later you try again. If again you're failing, you might make yourself one more promise. After that, you just don't really believe in your promise anymore, you don't feel confident that when you give yourself that word you will also be able to fulfil it.
Same way, if you promised your partner to make more time for him or her, and you don't do it, then promise again but don't do, and again - then what will happen to your partners confidence in you?
Integrity
One of the most valuable spiritual lessons I learned in India, which may seem very basic and down to earth but has a big power to it, is the practice of integrity.
INTEGRITY - keeping the promises you make, fulfilling the words you give to yourself and to others.
It's a spiritual practice int the way that it will improve your vibes, transform your inner space to a more peaceful but also more powerful place. Every time you have an intention and you don't create it as a reality (you promise something and don't make it happen), the confidence you have in you to create the reality you wanted is reduced. Every time you have an intention and immediately fulfil it, you grow more confident to make life as you want it to be. Energy that gets dissipated when you leave words unfulfilled will instead build and will make you a more powerful when all your words are fulfilled.
ALL MY WORDS!!??
I cannot see your face of course. But if you've read all the way to hear and would like to restore some of that integrity, to regain some of that confidence, to build more of that power to be in charge and create the life you want.... then maybe now your face is going like - WHAT!!?? Fulfilling ALL MY WORDS?
We had a video in integrity in our YouTube channel, on how Integrity is key to spiritual awakening.
And one comment that many people leave behind is, how do I fulfil ALL my words? I can't even remember all of them. But yes:
for who you are, for the peace you'll experience in your life, for the confidence you'll have in you and others will have in you, for the power to create a life as you want to have it - you'll have to fulfil all your words.
Even the promises from the past. Every single one of them.
Lifestyle
For me, integrity has become part of my lifestyle. Doing what I intended, fulfilling the words I gave to myself and others, is a big priority, all the time. And I went through a lot to find and fulfil all the words I had still hanging out in the open.
What about the above example, you're asking? ;) And you have every right to be asking that. As I said, the above is a great example of me messing up. Yup, I do that too.
Still, I feel that prioritising integrity gives me a lot of clarity to see the impact of what happens to me, when I leave a word unfulfilled. The example of the birthday gift - I can recall all the moments my thoughts went out to it very clearly, I am aware of the damage of dissipating energy and loss in confidence that I have caused myself. But that awareness only comes after practicing integrity as a lifestyle. It's not the same as fulfilling the word then and there, which is 300 times the better situation. But it is also 300 times better than being unaware of the damage we do to ourselves when we leave our promises unattended.
The urgency to fulfil your words
For a great practical exercise to find the words you have still standing out, how to fulfil them and more detail on what happens when you make integrity your lifestyle, watch the video above. But without the video, what I hope you take away from this post is the urgency to fulfil your words. Not because of some moral or ideas about what is wrong and right. But because of the importance of it for you and your happiness.
For me, I'm going to search the house for that card and the small book thing, and post it! ;)
Thank you for reading, appreciating your upvotes and comments and follows!!
That is a great post!! gives me something to think about ..Thank you!☺️
Thanks a lot for your support :). And for letting me know this post was useful!
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STOPOh wow!!! Someone has spoken about a topic that is just so so close to me. I go through this a lot. I think of a way to make someone feel nice or appreciated and instead of doing it instantly, I keep thinking of improving the idea and n that process, I often waste a lot of time and do nothing instead. Like the other day, I had a friend's birthday so I decided to wish him but instead of doing it instantly, I thought of a nice wish and honestly, I got lost into my thoughts and did not wish him on time at all. Loved this post!