Hi, it's the first time I've read you and it almost seems like a coincidence.
That dark forest that you talk so much about became so familiar and so real to me, because I have lost myself inside it, I feel powerless and hate to get lost here thanks to that I have developed a social phobia that bothers me in every way.
I feel lost Abigail, between debt, work and stress, emotionally unstable with several suicide attempts because I can not stand or stand in all that I'm involved.
I do not see light, I see no way, I am desperate and scared of myself, I am my worst enemy and I do not know how to deal with myself, I feel that we are two totally different people in a body.
I have tried to change my routine, take my dogs for a walk, write a little, learn something new but I do not see any difference.
It terrifies me to talk about how I feel because it's just the tip of the iceberg, I know there are many more things but I'm scared to go back there.
Hello @bearmaster :)
Thank you for taking the time to read this post and leave a comment.
I understand you have tried to change you routine, walk your dog etc... but, before that, I suppose it would be helpful if you understood this things take time. First and foremost you need to be patient with yourself. In the same way that some adversities slowly build up in our lives, emotional healing also takes its time. How many times did you try to change your routine? For how long?
Also, it appears to me that you think you are more terrified to talk about your feelings than you really are! You have done a good job here. You were open and honest. You have very concisely described how you feel. Was it really that scary doing that?
You have a job, right? Isn't that a good position to be in? Employed?
Instead of being scared of yourself, why don't you try imagining an improved version of yourself, and make that your final destination? That will pave your way towards a goal, you will not feel so lost then! It will give you a purpose that you can fulfill little-by-little everyday.
Those negative feelings you are nurturing at the moment are truly unhelpful. Keep in mind all the people and things that bound you to this life, and for them face and overcome your difficulties. You will be a great inspiration and example for those who love and care for you :)
I wish you all the best.