A few things made me reflect from reading your post @abigail-dantes:
Reward what you want to see more in your partner.
I don't know why but one section of your writing reminded me of a line from Mark Manson:
The point isn't avoid listening to the voice that constantly compares yourself to others... you can't tune it out.
The point is to not take it so seriously.
It's funny and scary how most of relationship (and life) problems stem from the ego. Ego not to surrender and ego not to be vulnerable.
But what is the point of having a confidante if you don't confide?
I see marriage as teamwork and you pick the partner to "play" the rest of your life with - only makes sense to work together and score "goals" together :)
This is a wonderful comment @bensimblog.
I love the fact that you saw deeper into the message I tried to convey. Thank you for sharing Manson's line here and for the insightful question you raised. It just reinforced my believe in self-evaluation :)
You just got a new follower :)
Your "following" means a lot to me @abigail-dantes. Been a long time fan of your work too :D