That's a pretty insightful post. Lots of self-reflection. The difficult part starts now as well - which of those behaviours would you like to change and how do you plan on doing it? No need explaining this to an internet stranger, but might be a good start to think this through for your own future. Good luck!
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I was hiding behind the mask of a smug know-it-all and can-do-it-all persona just to impress her, so I want to make my day-to-day live a little less shameful so I can be myself the next time.
Watching Youtube, playing games and smoking pot all day, while blaming my misery on politics and society is not really something I can be proud of.