If by any miraculous chance you haven’t been through an existential crisis but you have enough mental resource to self-reflect, I apologize in advance for this post – after reading it, it’s highly likely that you might start asking yourself some questions.
Introduction
With the massive usage of the internet and social media, most people try to create an image of themselves to manifest how happy and satisfied of life they are. Some of them truly are - others not even close.
If you know how and what exactly to ask them, you can easily see through this fake wall of not genuine happiness and learn to differ one from another.
Why would a truly happy person care how his or her life is seen in other people’s eyes ?
You might be surprised but probably almost everyone around is experiencing an existential crisis. The thing is that they hide it.
Existential crisis
An existential crisis is often referred to as the moment when a person starts to question the meaning of life. More specifically they're questioning the meaning of their own life and comparing it with other people’s lives. The existential crisis is often accompanied by high levels of anxiety and sometimes it may lead to depression.
Usually the existential crisis starts when a person has realized that he or she has more freedom of choice than previously thought. Meaning that they start to question all the decisions they’ve taken so far. This includes questioning relationships, motivations and even different hypothetical scenarios of events about their life.
But just by asking questions and analyzing events you cannot drive yourself into a crisis. In order to do that, you have to compare your life with other people’s.
In rare occasions you might be driven into an existential crisis by other people’s influence or the generally accepted social and lifestyle norms etc.
The existential crisis is that point of your existence in which you might begin to understand hat life is actually unfair.
Even when we say that all people are equal and all have the same rights, and all deserve the same opportunities and lifestyle – in the real world that’s absolutely not true.
In an existential crisis the person starts to realize that it’s up to him or her to grab the reins of their life and maneuver it in an already premade unequal world. On top of that there is no information about whether the choice we are about to make is the most correct one. All we know is that our time in this world is limited and the clock is ticking. That’s pretty scary right?
A possible solution
Do not despair.
In the world that we live in, there’s highly unlikely that you won’t deal with an existential crisis at some point of your life. If you ask me – the sooner that happens to you, the better it is.
Define your goals
Do you have any goals? Any ideas that you want to materialize?
If you do – the next question is how bad do you want them to happen? Are they crucial for your happiness? If not – let them go.
Don’t be frustrated about them just because some else is doing something similar to them. But if they truly matter to you ask yourself what you did today to fulfill them?
If you don’t have any goals it’s okay too.
To be honest, nowadays to be normal is to be strange. Everybody wants to be an entrepreneur, businessman and 'the smartest person' in the room.
Well guess what – not everybody has the qualities to be so.
If you don’t want to achieve your goals from the bottom of your heart, if you do it only for money and recognition from people which you hate – just let it go. The only thing that you will achieve this way would be a total despair and sadness.
It’s perfectly okay to be 'the normal guy' in the room. In my experience every person has to offer a vast unique universe of their own. The bad thing is that some people’s goals and personalities are highly influenced by other people's ideas of how things should be or by losing control over their existential crisis.
Not realizing this is a huge loss.
Firstly for the person who is experiencing this without knowing the root of their unhappiness and secondly for the outside world for losing a genuine creation of some sort by that person.
Take university for example. Today more and more people sing in university just to get a high education degree and then end up working a boring job which has nothing to do with their education and makes them even more sad and frustrated from their life.
Often this happens because the university was not their goal. It’s a product of their parent’s insecurity and the comparison of other people’s life.
“Why can’t you be like John? He is studying law and he is going to be really rich and successful. Be like John.”
-probably everybody’s mom
Well guess what – even if John becomes rich and successful, if studying law was not his idea in the first place he will end up more unhappy than you working at McDonalds.
Ask yourself what would you do if you had enough money not to work at your current job?
Why haven’t you already started to try to earn money with that thing and adopt it as your job?
Don’t get frustrated if someone has achieved something 'great' and you still haven’t.
Learn to observe the world around you and be an active part of it. Make your own luck. Do not be a spectator. Try to analyze the events which happen in your life and in the lives of the people you know. Keep in mind that “people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
No matter for how long they will be a part of your life, no matter if it is for a good or a bad reason, always remember to learn your lesson in the end.
Don’t hate people about their achievements
The moment you achieve that thing you've always wanted to happen in your life, you will realize how much effort it had costed you.
Now if you think about that guy of whom you were envious before. You can’t actually know what costed him to get what he has.
The question is if you knew, would you still want the outcome?
Don’t be mad at people who hate you for your achievements
They don’t actually hate you. They hate themselves for not achieving anything at all. Accept them for who they are. That’s their role in our society. Don’t waste your time with them and try not to lecture them.
Appreciate what you have
You might not like this statement, but you probably already have more than you deserve at this moment (if it’s otherwise, carry on. You are not included in this point). Don’t focus on what you don’t have in your life. Focus on what you have and try to find a way to use it for your goals. Otherwise you will never be happy no matter what you obtain in your life.
Conclusion
The greatest minds /and richest people if you like/ didn’t achieve the things they did because somebody told them to. Nor had they compared their lives with their neighbor’s. They were successful, because they truly wanted to be. The fame, the riches and the respect followed naturally.
Don’t fall into the abyss of your existential crisis. Use it as a trampoline and start asking yourself the correct questions. Embrace the answers, no matter how scary they are. Listen to yourself and you will find your purpose.
What are your thoughts? Please comment below ! Cheers :)
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Im 25 and yet I am already questioning my life. I've been experiencing existential crisis since last year and its not pretty. It confuses me and bugs me a lot. What is my purpose. What are my goals. Do people like me. Do I need to do what they like to be accepted. This crisis is definitely a very hard test that we need to overcome. And up until now. I dont have answers to my questions.
Some people never find the answers. Listen to yourself :)
Yes Im slowly regaining my old self . This post is definitely a great help to me. Thanks
That is an unusual way to describe it. :)
I would like to add that a crisis often is released by a loss - either the death of a person, a thing, part of identity (or whole identity) or health.
On the identity side I would also say that what people underestimate is how they perceive "the world/humanity" has lost it's virtues/values. Like honesty, dignity, trust, empathy and so on. I add that to the spiritual realm as psychology & philosophy are important to us.
The freedom to choose to find meaning is from my point of view already pointing into the process of becoming better and stepping out of the crisis. But I guess I know what you mean: To realize that one has the freedom to let go of blame, game, hate & co can be frightened at first. Not easy to let go of the habitual path.
I liked how you so straightforward talked about people lying to themselves.
Thanks for the additional information. What you say is true, but I wanted to discuss it in a more general manner, closer to most people. I tend to be as much as straightforward as I can.
HaHa! Now that I read my comment again: couldn't resist to add. Oh well, sometimes I just should stay with what one offers! Thanks for giving your insights. I am glad that what I read from you is what I also wish for myself and others. Take care, my friend.
Great post. Followed! So true it's OK to still be finding what you want to do. I was 31 before I found my true passion for art. now I'm 37 and I;ve been working full time as an artist for over 3 years, and my art is in collections in 26 countries so far :) I wasn't happy before working in call centers for almost 17 years. I used alcohol and drugs to escape.Once I started to paint I was able to leave those habits behind because I found something better
Hey, Adam ! I am really glad to hear that ! Stories like yours are inspiring and I hope more people would read the post and your comment ! I love to paint in my free time, so I will follow you back. Thanks for stopping by :)
Awesome, painting is so relaxing right? I feel blessed my work resonates with so many people that I can live from it.
Yes it is. Sadly I rarely have time to paint :\ I am really happy for people like you. Keep painting :))
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True. Every time I think I'm going through some shit, I just look at the guy next to me and realize he's probably going through something just as bad.
Most likely he does. Thanks for your comment :)
Very meaningful post @dysfunctional, well done! After combat, the Marine Corps, I sort of floated around in my head for awhile. Dealing with the mental baggage of life/post-military life, suicides, loss of friends, mending a fractured marriage, and drastic changes. Then I found psychedelics, well, psilocybin mushrooms, anyway. Then I started writing and haven't stopped. Recently, I had my first piece accepted and published. Dreams, goals, are so important. Even if they're far-reaching, and sometimes seem unobtainable.
That drive, that motivation keeps the Will strong. I feel like my purpose is to share what I've learned with others going through those stormy dilemmas of life, you know, making sure they know they're not alone. Through writing. And so I took to Steemit with science in my corner. Where it'll take me? Who knows. If it helps one person, then that's worth it. If it enlightens one person, I have succeeded. My life is on the right path, and I love my wife more than ever for sticking by my side, a weaker woman would have left long ago.
I've commented, I'll upvote, and share... but will you do the same? Conquering Fear. Good day friend.
Thank you for your story. I will read your post later as I see it's a quite long read.
The planetary evolution that we and the planet is going through is amazing. I remember years ago I was thanking the internet to opening up me to a new level of awareness and understanding. Last year I pinpointed a little bit more exact of who I want to be in this world and with the new blockchain technology it is teaching and helping me learn to solidify that into existence. We are all slowly finding our way...
Great write up. I appreciate anyone who can take time out of their day to write something that is in benefit to all who read. Thank you for your contribution to this amazing platform!
Thanks for stopping by :) Cheers!
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