The Pickup Community and My Personal 2 Year Journey So Far

in #psychology8 years ago (edited)


In The Beginning

Two years ago I discovered this rabbit hole that goes by many names!!! "Pickup", "game", "seduction". Not a huge fan of any of the names but oh am I grateful for discovering this community and the growth and amazing experiences that it led to! I first discovered it searching the internet. I don't remember every detail but it must have been a day of loneliness. A day of introspection. A day of desire. Exploring the world of YouTube as a 21 year old virgin I typed something along the lines of "how to get laid". After some searching I discovered my first "RSD" (Real Social Dynamics) video!:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="

frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

This was the video that got me started on a wonderful journey that would have me going out every night of the week at some points and driving all the way to Las Vegas! But lets not get ahead of ourselves. Again, I was a 21 year old virgin completing my bachelors at this time two years ago when i made my discovery. I had very little social life and no real friends. I was very awkward and afraid of socializing. What this discovery did was empower me! 

"Be at the Cause not the Effect"!

This is one of the principles of RSD. However, it is much more powerful than simply being a technique that helps you pick up girls. This is a powerful way to look at life. This principle means to have a strong frame of mind. Believe in what you do and who you are. This way people will be experiencing you strongly and reacting to you. The opposite of this would be to be "a leaf blowing in the wind" aka someone who is not grounded and overreacts to any new stimulus that enters their world. To be at the cause and not the effect means to take responsibility of your own life. 

For many who discover and embrace pickup it is like taking the pill (whatever color it was) that showed Neo that the world he was living in wasn't real. 

Pickup is More About Taking Away What is Limiting You, Less About Adding New Techniques AKA "Just be Yourself"

We humans are social beings. And especially during our "formative years", our teens, we develop a strong identity and a strong idea of where we stand in relation to our peer group along with that. I for example, was traumatized back in middle school. It's a very funny and ironic story to think about for me now. I'll tell it to you now:

So, there was this girl I liked named Skye. I would flirt with her during class. Have a good time. It was all innocent fun. Now here's the ironic part: One day my friend said something along the lines of "Good job man I see you running that game!" This changed my reality. Here I was, flirting with a girl I liked, having fun, not thinking much of it. Not feeling like I was doing much of anything. But apparently I was doing something. I was "running game". This made me cool apparently. So now I wanted to run more game so I could be cool in front of all my friends. And apparently running good game will help me get girls too. So no longer was it a matter of enjoying being with someone I like but it became about trying to get something and prove myself. 

I became very "try-hard". I said inappropriate things. I was needy. Slowly our interactions were less fun. I became more needy. More try-hard. Finally it culminated at the end of Spanish class. I was sitting next to her and I said something like "do you know why I can't wait for class to be over?" 

"Why?" she responded.

"So I can see your ass when you walk away" I proclaimed. 

She was pissed. At the end of class I tried to engage her in conversation but she ignored me and walked away. Eventually after her ignoring me I became crazy obsessed guy. 

I was never with her romantically but I felt an extreme sense of loss and rejection. I tried to communicate with her any way I could. I would create different AIM (instant messaging) accounts to try and communicate with her after she blocked me. I went absolutely insane and needy. After this traumatizing failure I stopped interacting with girls completely. I don't remember if it was a slow process or quick, but eventually I hated any social gatherings, especially ones that might involve attractive girls. I was never invited to parties from middle school all the way through college. 

As a result of this traumatizing experience and my antisocial reaction to it I formed an antisocial and awkward sense of identity. This was my reaction to outside circumstances. And this is the victim mindset that many people become stuck in. This is the opposite of being "at the cause". This is "being at the effect". This is an example of "a leaf blowing in the wind". 

The Sad Life of Many 21st Century Young Men

During this long antisocial stage I spent most of my time playing video games and masturbating to porn. I would often only leave the house to go to school. I wasn't really depressed during this time, just numb. I was numbing myself to life.

Conclusion

I am going to wrap this up now  even though there's more to tell because I'm tired and not sure if I can draft this. 

After two years of this journey I still struggle greatly. My main excuse for my current slow progression is my porn addiction, which kills my sex drive and many times has resulted in my dick not working when I'm about to engage in sex. But for those who are interested in my personal "paper" results, I've had penetrative (lol  penetrative sex :)) sex with 7 girls. I've still never had a girlfriend (at age 23) and I don't think I want one or am ready for one yet. Some of the girls I've had sex with became casual sex partners for some time. Others were one night stands. 

All but two of the girls were a result of cold approach. But even the ones that weren't from cold approach wouldn't have been possible were it not for the skills and confidence I developed from cold approach. To this day I love cold approach and its potentially transformative powers. It can be quite a shock to the system to go out, especially alone, and interact with new women. If you havn't done it before I highly recommend you experience it. I am very grateful for the thousands of "rejections" I've received from girls over the years for they have helped me learn to psychologically deal with rejections in life in general. Cold approach pick up is something that will help you gain true confidence. So many rich experiences I've had from this journey! Maybe someone can be inspired by this story.

Picture of my favorite nightclub in Vegas

Here is my favorite inspirational video related to "pickup" by Sasha Daygame, who is also on Steemit:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="

frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>