Introduction
We all can not count the number of times we set out to do something but ended up doing something entirely different or doing things that are not in line with our budget or beliefs. Been human, there is limit to the amount of external influence we can withstand. Many people have mastered the art of persuasion though sometimes intuitively, they simply know how to get others to say YES. Check the advertisers. Knowing how to make others do your bidding is a skill that comes handy in interpersonal dealing, but must no be taken to the extreme that it becomes amoral. Also, the place never to be is to to be in constant receiving end of other people's manipulation.
Like every other human behaviors and interactions, there is a science to how we are influenced or influence others. It is easy to think people are in control and considered all available information in making their decisions but the reality is many human's decisions are made based on emotions, rule of thumb or shortcut. Human naturally want to take the easy way out of everything. Those 'experts' in manipulation use this shortcuts to control others' behaviours and decision making. Let's look at few of these shortcuts humans intuitively take.
Reciprocity
How many times you heard "one good turn deserves another" cliche? Human are obliged to give something back when they receive. There is the feeling of "I owe him" or "he owes me" when they receive or give.
Someone send you a nice gift on your birthday, then you feel the obligation to do something special for him on his birthday or any day special to him. Receiving especially has a way preventing you from looking or judging the giver objectively. You just find it difficult to turn the person you feel indebted to down. I believe this is where the idea of 'bribing' stemmed from. Bribing is frowned on in every culture because it means you want to take away the other person's choice of making an objective decision. To use this principle, you need to know when, how and what to give. Giving first, unexpectedly and personalized will make people feel indebted to you.
Scarcity
Scarcity can make almost anything to be perceived more valuable than it is. People seek desperately things that are exclusive. Almost any object (even human) suddenly becomes more attractive when they become scarce. There were times in history when items like salt, potatoes, flowers were 'gold', because they became scarce.
Authority
People naturally want to listen to someone that 'oozes' authority in his appearance, recommendations or with awards/trophies on the mantlepiece that shows his expertise.
Consensus
There is a kind of assurance comes with general opinions. Even if the decision was wrong, you were not alone...a good consolation. It has to do with our lazy nature or our seeking of softer landing to our decisions. Though we are a good percent sure we know the answer, we still want to check if our partner is writing the same thing. Do I have a witness?
Liking
It is normal for a human to want to do the bidding or be agreeable with someone they like. It is clear that the chance of someone saying yes to you is high they like you. Once you get someone to fancy you, then your job of persuading them is half done.
Conclusion
There is a science to human behaviours, not understanding this science will leave us confused and frustrated when their behaviours are not logical. Many times, we don't operate by logic but by emotions, trend, agreement, ease of decision making and so on. Understanding these 'illogical' human behaviours will pave ways into their hearts for you.
This post is not encouraging using persuasion unethically. Of course, whatever good or service you are offering needs be of quality value. That gives us a win-win situation, everyone is happy.
Thanks for reading.
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Me gusto mucho tu post. Me parece que manipular los sentimientos y sensaciones es por mucho un mecanismo muy efectivo para lograr activar el impulso humano de elegir por lo que se le propone aún en contra de la conveniencia o no de la persona que elige... Muchos éxitos
I really liked your post. It seems to me that manipulating feelings and sensations is by far a very effective mechanism to activate the human impulse to choose for what is proposed even against the convenience or not of the person who chooses ... Many successes
Humans don't see the need to do something unless you give them reasons and makes their decisions and actions easy.
Thank you for your comment @hopely
Excellent publication. In my work area, a companion, who is approaching her birthday every day, takes out her manipulative disguise, saying that whoever does not have a gift for her will not eat from her cake. For me they are manipulative people and empty beings, who live buying the affection with gifts. And she does not realize that she was always alone because of her attitude.
Your companion is outrightly manipulative. Persuasion is about having other people interests at heart while seeking for your own from them, everybody wins.
Thank you for the appreciation @mergie (cool name)