When I was a kid I wanted to be a writer. I used to write short stories and I was pretty good at it. When I was ten, some of my writings were published in a small book amongst other children’s stories. Each of us had their own page with a short bio on top of it. It included some information about one’s age, city, and favorite topic – you know, what you most love to write about. So, some of us pointed “Nature” to be their favorite topic, others liked to write about animals or other fun stuff. Me? I had only one topic that interested me the most. Short and clear. It was “Humanity”.
Humanity? Seriously? What kind of a ten-year-old says that?
Well, some may say – the firstborn.
I happen to be the first-born child in a family of four. Lucky you, some might say, considering the quantity of popular articles out there, saying that the first born child tends to score higher in IQ tests and usually has a well-established profession later in life. This was somewhat true for me. I have always been the “smart” one in our family - reading books, writing stories, always worried about the world and where it was heading (still am, by the way).
My sister, who is 4 years younger than me, was quite the opposite of that. She was always cheerful and didn’t bother about humanity that much. She had cute golden curls and everyone adored her. She always found a way to get under their skin, so they did whatever she wanted them to do (yep, she still does that). She grew up to be the cute one and fun one.
It is obvious now that we competed for our parents’ attention and each of us was using her secret weapon. If I only knew that in 1996 Sulloway observed a correlation between birth order and some personality traits. His study pointed out that firstborns tended to be more achieving and to identify with authority while the second-borns were more rebellious. Even before Sulloway’s study, there was data showing that IQ scores were negatively associated with the birth order (Thurstone, L. L., & Jenkins, R. L., 1929. This means that with the increase in the number of siblings (e.g. first-born, second-born, etc), the IQ score decreases. Oh, if I only knew it back then, I could rub my sister’s nose in it!
Unfortunately, in 1996 I was only nine-years-old and didn’t care about research that much. Besides, I was teasing my sister about being stupid anyway. See, it is very easy to do that when you are nearly 4 years older – you simply do everything better than the other one. I was nine and I could read, she was five and she couldn’t. Nah, Nah!
You may wonder, why I don’t tease her now about Sulloway’s and Thurstone’s findings. I meant to. That’s why I started writing this post. But, why on Earth, I decided to do any research! It turned out that recent studies show little or no support for these observations (Witchman, et.al.,2006, 2007). They argue that earlier research wasn’t précised enough in its design and methodology (Freese et.al., 1999). See, my good old strategy for teasing my sister based on no research was working fine. Now, my post is ruined!
Why am I bringing up this issue?
Actually, this is an ongoing debate and if you try to follow it you definitely will be lost in it. But there is something more essential than competing who is the brightest in a family. Forget what I said, I love my sister very much. Although we have had our tough times in our relationship, we have always been very close. Brother and sisters are important. Very important. Siblings' relationships differ in their quality and quantity, and they change over time. But they are always there - forming us, building our character. Whether we are in a “competition” or in a “cooperation” mode, our relationship with brothers and sisters seems to leave its input in our personality.
Nevertheless, personality theories have been extremely focused on one’s relationship with their parents (e.g. Bowlby’s theory of attachment or Freudian Theory of Oedipus Complex). But they seem to miss the investigation of sibling interaction and their influence on one another. This is somehow reasonable. It is very difficult to distinguish the factors within the family. Is a certain trait or behavior caused by sibling relations? Or is it a result of parental attitudes toward their children? Or is it a consequence of one’s interpretation of parental attitudes?
Nonetheless, within a few posts, I will try to dive into the deep sea of conflicting theories and studies, so that we could have a better understanding of the impact our relationship with a brother or a sister has on who we are.
Meanwhile, you could read my article on how mother-child relationship shapes personality or my post on how a genetically inherited trait like introversion could influence your life.
P.S. I will be extremely happy if you share some fun stories about your brothers and sisters in the comment section. Or maybe a reflection on your relationship with them? Or you are an only child? How do you feel about that? Or maybe you wonder about your children’s relationship? Please, don’t hesitate to comment.
References:
Aaron L. Wichman, Joseph Lee Rodgers, Robert C. MacCallum, Robert C. MacCallum (2006). A Multilevel Approach to the Relationship Between Birth Order and Intelligence. Volume: 32 issue: 1, page(s): 117-127
Aaron L. Wichman, Joseph Lee Rodgers, Robert C. MacCallum, Robert C. MacCallum (2007). Birth Order Has No Effect on Intelligence: A Reply and Extension of Previous Findings. Personality and Social Psychology. Volume: 33 issue: 9, page(s): 1195-1200
Frank J. Sulloway, New York: Pantheon Books, 1996. Born to rebel: Birth order, family dynamics, and creative lives
Jeremy Freese, Brian Powell, and Lala Carr Steelman, 1999, Rebel Without a Couse or Effect, American Sociological Review, Vol. 64, No. 2 (Apr. 1999), pp. 207-231
Thurstone, L. L., & Jenkins, R. L. (1929). Birth order and intelligence. Journal of Educational Psychology, 20(9), 641-651
Images: (under CC0 Creative Commons)
https://pixabay.com/en/twins-hugging-brothers-boys-kids-2670823/
https://pixabay.com/en/children-siblings-brother-sister-817365/
https://pixabay.com/en/baby-glasses-cute-happy-child-kid-204185/
https://pixabay.com/en/birthday-boy-birthday-party-boy-1571731/
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I have an older brother. We have a good relationship with each other. He is very talented in computer science and mathematics and is interested in scientific work. He was also very successful at school and university and always had top marks.
It's funny because it's the same with us as it's described in your article.
He was always oriented in success and I always rather rebellious! =)
Although the older we get, the more we start resemble each other.
Hahaha. This id funny and wonderful!
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Thanks rextyge :)
I think that siblings of the same sex are a little bit more competitive when they are younger. I think they fight and argue more. But then, as they get older, they form a very strong positive relationship. I don't know if this is something scientifically proven, it is only my observation of friends and family :)
My sister and I argued and fought a lot when we were children, but now we have a great relationship. And maybe we do resemble each other more :)
Hello there @insight-out :)
What a great idea for a series!
It is definitely a topic worth exploring as it is something so pertinent to us all. I only have one younger brother (3 years younger). He is the love of my life ❤ When we were kids, though, I was quite mean to him. So much so this one time, in the middle of the playground in front of everyone he hit me right in the stomach. I was in shock! But I could never hit him back. I never did. Then, that was it, when he learnt I wouldn't hit him for the life of me, he started to push my hair, kick me whenever I pestered him. It was a nightmare! 😂 I only had one way out ... to treat him well! :D
All the best to you :*
Oh, tell me about it! These younger brothers and sisters always find a way to outsmart you! :D
Thanks for stopping by @abigail-dantes! I am waiting forward for your Friday post!
Hi @insight-out!
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I've got an elder sister (she married). We grew up as best of friends.
As kids, even though we had some disagreements here and there, we would make-up the next moment and start playing again.
My mum used to tell us that when my sister started nursery school, and I was still a toddler, should always reserve water for me as a gift from school 😂
Oh, this is sooooo sweet!!! She loved you very very much! And she still does - I read her happy-birthday-to-my-brother post! :)
I have heard different people talk about the relationship between birth order and personality traits, but my take is quite simple. I don't think there is quite some sort of natural relationship.
This could begin from parenting. What is the mindset of the parents of the child? Most parents have the belief that their first child should be thought more about life than the others. I have seen lots of families whose last child (whether boy or girl) ended up as something better than the rest
I agree with you. There are a lot of factors which interfere and birth order itself seems to be a very simplified explanation of all the variety of personalities. Thanks for commenting! :)
cute picture and nice blog sir...
Thank you! :)
I have heard different people talk about the relationship between birth order and personality traits, but my take is quite simple. I don't think there is quite some sort of natural relationship.
This could begin from parenting. What is the mindset of the parents of the child? Most parents have the belief that their first child should be thought more about life than the others. I have seen lots of families whose last child (whether boy or girl) ended up as something better than the rest
I have come here because I have found the third part of this series, right now I am doing a marathon and reading all its publications, my comments will go to the end. I think that there should be a relationship between the order of birth and some predispositions, but I think that other things also influence, such as the difference in age between siblings.