Reading this excellent article brings two things to mind. Recently I've been trying to watch as many of Jordan Peterson's lectures on Psychology on YouTube, and he has mentioned this issue. He talks about good and evil archetypes and how we function best having some balance. All good, and we get taken advantage of. All bad and we're selfish bullies.
I've been interested in social cooperation for years and loved the groundbreaking book by Robert Axelrod on the Evolution of Cooperation
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Evolution_of_Cooperation
He used computer simulations of interacting agents to figure out how people could get along with others when the rational thing is to be selfish. Turns out, the best strategy is to be good and cooperative when you first meet someone, but if they are bad to you in return, you should be bad to them in response.
Of course good and bad are relative to the context. And its even better to be forgiving to a degree because of the imperfect communication channel between people. Someone might be trying to be good but the other person perceives their action as bad. So rather than respond bad after the first bad action against you, maybe give a second chance.
But now we come back to the old rule of thumb, three strikes and you're out. If someone is not cooperating on three successive encounters, might be time to get out of the relationship if possible. Personally, I'm a two strikes guy. I'm not prone to giving bad actors a third chance to adversely affect me!
So those are my random thoughts on your thought provoking essay. Thanks for posting it!
@kenny-crane, thanks for your "random thoughts!"
The experiment you're describing reminds me of the old "tit-for-tat" algorithm... it can never lose; your first play is always to be "good," and every subsequent play you simply match what other player does. No matter what sequence is played, you will always be "one good" ahead.
As for how many "strikes" to give people... what's that old saying? "Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me."