I was spanked as a child and I do not spank my own child. I can look back on my childhood and remember being spanked, but can't tell you one single thing I was spanked FOR. Like the deed that was punished has gone out of my mind entirely. I just remember being terrified and in pain. And I remember hating my father. And I remember being afraid of him...AND I STILL AM. To me, that's not healthy. My daughter is now ten and we did not employ spanking as one of our disciplinary measures. She is a straight A kid, very kind, very ambitious, and we are close. We still have our teen years to weather, but so far I don't think spanking would have added anything good to our relationship.
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Well said. I am especially glad you shared your own parenting style, and decided not to spank your child. That means a lot. I am also sorry you had to deal with what happened to you. That is awful, but I am glad you realized that it was not healthy, and now you are not repeating the vicious cycle on your own child.
That's the difference I was talking about your father was assaulting a child not lightly spanking you because you had done something wrong. Pain shouldn't be the objective reinforcing rules is