Hello dear Steemians, I want to tell you now that I have made a transcendental, vital, important decision. I won't tell you what it is, but I will tell you how I made it clear, and finally decide.
Sometimes we are overwhelmed by a decision that we know can change our lives. We think that everything is too definitive, we fill with doubts and fear ... how to choose what suits us? How do you know if the result will be good?
When it comes to choosing between difficult alternatives, none is better than the other, they are simply different in the type of value they represent for us. If one were evidently better than the other, then choosing would not be difficult. Then we must be clear about our personal values to choose simply what makes us happier.
First and most importantly ask us the right questions:
where/with Who/in what situation can I be who I want to be?
What are my values? What are my needs?
and depending on this, what is my success?
With respect to success is very important to have a criterion of its own, not to be influenced by expectations of other people, only so we can choose what we really care.
Today I did an exercise that I liked very much and was of great help to identify with what decision "Vibro" better. It's about throwing a coin into the air, and playing face or seal. Yes, I swear it's a great method. It doesn't mean we're going to do what the coin says, but we're going to figure it out. We will identify the first bodily sensation we have when we see the result of the coin. How do we feel? Does that option make us feel full, in peace, in expansion? Or does it make us feel sad, conformist or contracted? This exercise is of great help if we do not have clear which of the options responds to the deep desires of the heart. We deceive the mind, but not our hearts or our instincts. No doubt that anguish, guilt and fear are not good counselors when it comes to making a difficult decision.
A few days ago I discovered a conference that served me with great support in this process. I share them below:
Ruth Chang is a specialist philosopher in difficult decisions. In his lecture he explains the importance of not letting us win by fear. In this regard she says:
"I did what many people do before difficult decisions: take the safest option." (...) The fear of being an unemployed philosopher turned me into a lawyer. "I am now a philosopher and I study difficult decisions."
What we decide from fear generally does not make us happy and sooner or later we will have to assume, stop and take the right course. That yes, the later we make it more difficult and painful will be.
There are many decisions we make to feel guilty. Guilt is a discomfort with great social weight because it arrives when we transgress some norm, that generates low self-esteem and even feelings of self-hatred. We choose guilt when we believe we should amend a mistake, when we put the welfare of others to our own. The result: sadness, frustration, false sense of love and sacrifice.
On the other hand the anguish will never lead us to decide with conscience, with the murky mind can not reason, nor see with objectivity anything. I was reviewing a YouTube channel that I recommend, it's called ElSenderoDeRuben. There I found a video on the subject and I liked it a lot, I share it:
To make an important decision you need quiet, so it's a good idea to let the subject rest for a few days. The anguish does not allow us to see clearly the panorama and some pressures that we thought were important, really are not and tend to disappear. It is important to take your time, this way we can be more lucid and authentic at the time of deciding (to me this has taken me several months). Ruben says about this:
"Then the layers that might have begun to get rid, the impulses are temporary, we see the things clearer." When I do not have that feeling that I have come to something that is within, that is not superficial, I do not decide; I say: Today is not the day to decide "
Another interesting exercise is to see every long-term panorama and consider what is best and what is the worst that can happen in each of the scenarios. That will give us a perspective to find out if we are willing to risk it.
To finish, Ruth Chang also tells us something very important: you have to commit to one of the alternatives. I don't have to find out which option is better, but which one I want to commit to. What makes the person/environment/choice better for you is your commitment to it. When we are not engaged we take the difficulties as evidence that we should be doing something else.
So, my friends, identify what you want and commit deeply. The rest are entertainments of the way 😉
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
- Albert Einstein
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself".
@wise-old-man Thank you for reading and commenting. I hope my experience has been helpful to someone.
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STOPThank you for a great post :)
Any hard decision in its core is related to some fear or getting out of your comfort zone, basically doing something you don't want to do! But once you do it, you grow mentally.
Please check my new post, I think you will like it!
@paps
Totally true, that's why I think it's important to know when we make a decision from fear, and keep in mind that the opposite of fear is love. Regards @paps and thanks for commenting.
My pleasure, thank you for visiting my blog as well ^^
Very good @nanowins77
Thanks :)