Being overly strict and controlling is a kind or proximal abandonment. Even though the parent is there, they are not, as they are lost in negativity. Its best to be relaxed at all times and let the child be as free to do whatever they want.
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Well said, friend. I like the way you characterized that.
:) The water method is best, let it go and let it flow. Rather than the fire method of creating drama out of nothing :D