I have 8-year-old students that have watched porn. When their parents discovered it they tried to explain that these are not shows appropriate for their age. It is hard to always keep an eye on them, there are just so many stimuli around and so many sources of information.
I can only guess that they discuss such programmes in your children's school because these programmes are there and they cannot pretend that they don't exist. Ok, I know we can't be blind to what is going on around us, but is the discussion fruitful? I mean are they doing it in attempt to evaluate the quality of such programmes and reach to a conclusion on whether viewers should watch them? What does such a programme have to offer to you and what possible damage can it do?
I just remembered this picture, I once saw it under the phrase: The world has ruined my childhood
Yes I agree, our son has done some inappropriate things on the internet and our answer was no more internet. Probably a little drastic but if he had done it to someone else he would have gone to jail. I am what they call a helicopter mom, I hover a lot. Sometimes I wonder if it is a disadvantage?
As for the teacher, no she was discussing it like you would with your best friend. There was no meaning other then she wanted to talk about it. My problem with that is they were 13 and that is my place to discuss it with them, not a teacher. I could understand if it was related to a topic they were discussing in class or a kid asked her about it. The show was basically soft porn with dialogue. It was not a good topic for a classroom, especially when it was a math class. Plus, they were her students, not her best friends.
I grew up with those pictures too. The woman that raised me was, well not a parent. I had no curfew past 8. I had no structure, no discipline, I was the kid watching porn at 10 and no one cared or stopped me. I started drinking at 8, she gave it to me. She bought alcohol for me and my friends. I quite school, etc. It is not a life I recommend to anyone. There is a lot more that happen, that she let happen. I guess that is why I am the way I am. Sometimes I wish I did not worry so much.
I see. In that case, no! This is not a topic to discuss in class. I think sexuality is something you should discuss with the same-sex parent at first. Then it is healthy to bring your questions to a class of peers and discuss it under the supervission of a properly educated teacher. It's too bad there is no organised sexual education in schools. I mean, we are taught about reproduction and certain STDs, but nothing more than that, no mention of the purpose it serves, the behavioral changes, the teenager's psychology, hormones. There is not a "spherical" approach on the matter, we discuss the very basics just for the sake of curriculum.
If you 've had that kind of past, then it's perfectly normal to be a bit over-protective, but you sound like the healthy over-protective kind of mum. You 've just been to the other side, know what it's like, seen the harm it can do on you and don't want your children experience anything similar. Ok, we should let children learn and "investigate" in their own, respect their personality and will. But limits should be set, rules and justification should be given. I'm not a parent yet, but I can tell it's a hard task, an experiment you have no idea how is going to turn out no matter how "right" you do everything...
There is no good health classes here either. A lot of parents here do not talk to their kids about sex and just let them go off and do whatever they want. It is very hard to compete with that and your kids hate you for it, until they become adults and realize you were right in what you did.
It is a constant struggle if you are doing the right thing and what might work for one, will usually not work for the other. I have learned that the hard way. I don't know if you are planning on becoming a parent, but you understand a lot of it and you seem to know how you would, so you sound like you will be a great mom.
It's hard, because it is still a taboo topic and people don't discuss it within the family, which should not be the case. Sex is everywhere, from commercials and magazines to films and songs.
It's not on my plans to be one soon, but I work with children and since I'm getting close to my 30s a lot of things in my perspective have changed. Thanks for the encouraging words! :)
You're welcome :) To be close to my 30's again.......dreaming lol