I really have to stop comparing myself to the others.
Yes, you should. I'll share a little secret with you...EVERYBODY's got something going on. Perfection is an illusion. That person that looks like they've got it all together, may be the very one that's unraveling like a cheap sweater.
I understand your perception for the meds keeping you above the darkness; but, I'd love to see what would happen if you had a Mother Teresa mindset of helping others. I believe one of the biggest 'remedies' for depression is Jesus (having a spiritual relationship with a Higher Power)...helping Others who are less fortunate than yourself, (i.e. children who need help learning how to read)..and lastly, Yourself...great going to the gym...research what foods are healing/energizing and get into yoga/meditation. Btw, those caps in that order spell JOY.
I'm not promoting smoking; but, if your body craves an e-cig it knows what it needs to balance. Enjoy/savor the moment of it. The worse thing a person on a diet can do is deny self the very thing it craves. It only amplifies the issue.
Lastly, a bright/quiet yellow room might do wonders. IOW Paint even if others don't value the 'tidiness' of life. You may set the example that begins change. Clean your space even if it means picking up behind others. When you walk, don't look down at the trash, look at the beautiful sky that shows up everyday.
Kudos for doing the hard work with your therapy. Stay in the light.
Peace.
Everything you said is valuable. But I can't agree with your mother Teresa example. When you're in crisis no matter what example do you have and how great your life actually is (by the way, I have such example in my life). Your thinking just changes together with brain chemistry, that's all. There's nothing spiritual in it, just chemistry. And it this stage you need "earth support". Then, when you're stable - yes, you can seek for things that can support you. But when you're inside the crisis you don't care about anything.
It sounds like awareness of your stressors is serving to help maintain your well-being.
I know this risks getting me flagged, per your checklist ;+); so, I will refrain from any atta' girls...But...hey...you're a positive example for those going through.
Best regards.
Peace.