I think margin is a big factor. Another example: 2 people miss 2 diferrent flights that are supposed to leave at 7 am. They arrive together at 745 with traffic slowing them. One learns his plane left on time, and the other (lets call him Phil) learns it left a minute before they arrive. In this instance Phil is more frustrated/upset even though the outcomes/predicament was identical. How late does his plane need to depart for it to (illogically) aggravate him more than his peer?
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Ya, for sure!
I do see how the "illogical-ness" can serve an evolutionary purpose.
It shouldn't truly matter, outside of your control, what time the plane decided to leave. But in a result-oriented way, Phil can monday morning quarterback more scenarios where he makes it.
"if only I didn't brush my teeth for so long", "if only I had been rude and walked thru the people standing still on the moving walkway"
It DOES seem more annoying in this case, even tho intellectually you know you should measure and reconsider your behavior equally in both cases.
Maybe the feeling is there as like a primitive way to force us to dwell on it and reconsider our mistakes whenever we had a chance to cause a different outcome?
Well, the closer to his late arrival the more aggravating or upset I think