"The great problems are inherently insoluble as they involve opposing polarities in the self, polarities necessary in any self-regulating organism... Some people seem to grow out of these problems, not by any willful action, but through a quiet assimilation and transcendence... Some obscure hint, external or internal, beckons and leads them on..."
(slightly paraphrased and summarized from C.G. Jung's, The Secret of the Golden Flower)
I prefer to work alone, driven by will power. When I socialize, I drink too much; alcohol magically switches off or tamps down my egotistical will power. I am freed for social give and take, useful exchanges, a good time. This is fine, except for alcoholic addiction and damage to my health. Alone and together are "polarities" I cannot escape; I must have both to live fully. With alcohol I careen back and forth between them.
The problem is worse when I am not productive, stuck in my work. I crank up the will power, which then becomes harder to shut down when I am socializing. This leads to heavier drinking and a downward spiral. Calling on will power to stop drinking doesn't work for me. Rigid self-control closes me further into a lonely life that eventually explodes, sometimes damaging others.
What to do?
I gained hope from Jung's calm assurance that some of his patients outgrew this sort of intractable problem, but not through any action taken by will power. I accepted that I couldn't force a change, that my big gun was useless. That was immediately relaxing. I was released from the need for forceful action. In a more peaceful mood, I saw the dynamic as it is: a tug of war between two states, each necessary for a healthy life. My precious will power was screwing up the balancing act.
From that moment on, my habits began to change and the problem to fade.
I write this for anyone who suffers from a seemingly impossible choice. It might help to consider Jung's observation that the choice is necessarily impossible (for a healthy life). It cannot be made, but it can be outgrown.
C.J. Jung (for those who don't know of him) died in 1961. He was one of the great pioneers in psychology. His autobiography, Memories, Dreams, Reflections is well worth reading (maybe not at the beach).
@straightwalker (28) thanks for offering your own experience as food 🍇🍄🍳behavior serves purpose 🤔 when purpose has been filled, behavior is no longer necessary 🎭 the mask comes off and a more true version of self revealed 💡 what I like most about Jung is his ability to talk around a subject always giving room for a new interpretation by one's own mind 🔊📸🕤 stimulating thought, getting closer to reality, and recognizing that there was more going on then what one can see and feel over their senses in the present state of the world 🔔💈🖼️ that the state of the world is representative of another level of reality 📸💡 this doesn't imply that I or anyone, is done with this process as there is no end to the development of conscious awareness 🔔☎️💡 or that the struggle to end behaviors that are not in our best interest, are not meaningful ☺️ it's a comfort to think that we are an expression of Greater archetypal forces 🌀🔥🌈⚡🌊🌏 and that we have a meaning and purpose that goes beyond our little lives however important we may feel 🌇🎢🎰 perhaps it's the other way around with the archetypes, that our representation of them brings them into existence, and that the plains of reality are all actually here now 🕤🔊🖼️🍄🤔
"stimulating thought, getting closer to reality..." That's a good way to put it. Becoming closer to the present, more aware of reality, is, I think, the essential movement of art, science, religion, and culture generally. We do it through models that use language, mathematics, violin strings, chisels on stone, drama, etc., trying to keep in mind that "the map is not the territory" (Von Clausewitz reminding his generals on the eve of battle). Thanks for your reply. We're all in it together.
I always wondered who it was that said the map is not the territory 🤔 the idea that you can get closer to reality by using models is interesting and I enjoy that kind of dichotomy⏰ what would we do if we didn't have are addictions to keep us busy? Some might find themselves at a loss, but then we can always help someone else until we find what it is we would prefer to be doing🎭🎪 art science religion and culture are devices for getting closer to reality🎠📺🚀 is that what you're saying?
Yes, that's what I think. Our models are real, too. But their reality is as models; no matter how useful or approximate, they are not The Truth. I wish that our schools taught from this point of view: language & numbers as modeling tools, improving models as a teaching tool (local history, local environmental data, agricultural practices, medical surveys, whatever grabs a teacher's interest that can be improved and can sharpen student skills (tools).
I first encountered the border between model and reality in a high school physics experiment that involved measuring how far a ball bearing flew when you released a spring that was coiled behind it. I think that was it. Anyway, I calculated my answer out to four or five decimal points. Significant Digits!! I could only measure to the nearest tenth of an inch, so the extra decimals were meaningless. Any formula is only as accurate as the least accurate measurement involved. What??? It took me weeks to get my head around that. (Years later I found a significant digit mistake in an Air Force weather calculation and got into all sorts of trouble trying to make it right (I failed, another lesson learned)).
Significant digits is where the rubber model hit the reality road. Those beautiful clear calculations were limited by my eyesight and a ruler. It took me a while, but when I got it, I got it. Life is fun sometimes.
My friend the tribalist would say that we have walked away from reality by using the maps of art science religion and culture and that for millennia before these inventions we lived close to Nature and reality in our tribal state 🌅💡 I tend towards being a modernist in that I believe for want of a better word that the devices of modern culture are natural and evolving towards a world consciousness emergent from complex Networks🤔⏰ and that the psychic archetype of the spiritual world is a sort of meta blueprint for what is occurring in the technological world of the present 🌊🐳🕶️ all the same it seems to be a race between the forces of creation and destruction💣🍼👼
well said!