Confidence. It’s an important attribute to have for every aspect in life. Whether it’s about making friends, finding and maintaining a healthy relationship, landing your dream job. Almost every rewarding goal in life requires a good deal of confidence. Before I start, it’s important to remember to not take the title of this article too seriously. Obviously low self-esteem is an extremely complicated issue that goes way beyond one reason or one cause. However in my opinion, while there may be many different indirect or secondary reasons, the effect can always be traced back to one main cause: caring what others think.
As a young child, we are all confident. As a kid, all you care about is watching your favorite TV shows, eating your favorite junk food, and hanging out with your friends. Your worries go as far as hoping your parents will let you stay up late on a school night. You could care less about confidence issues. This is why kids are so brutally honest. They have yet to experience the constant grind of adult life where everyone is constantly judging, scrutinizing, and criticizing your every word and action. So the first important thing to understand is that generally we are all born confident. But we lose it over the course of years of criticisms from parents, classmates, friends, teachers, co-workers, and bosses.
So how do can we reverse this, and regain the child-like, carefree confidence we all once had? Simple, by just not caring about what others say or think. I know it sounds too simple, or too good to be true. But just think about every confidence issue you might have, and you will it all ultimately traces back to caring too much of others’ opinions.
What if you want to start writing on Steemit? What’s stopping you? Maybe you are intimidated by all the whale accounts with massive followings and thinking you will never be able to compete with that. Maybe you’re scared what someone will think when they see your articles haven’t gotten much attention. Maybe you told your friends and family about this wonderful new platform with so much monetization potential, and you’re scared what you’ll have to tell them should you fail. But at the end of the day, is it really a fear of failure or a fear of how others will perceive it? After all, even if you fail, if you never make a single penny, the result will be exactly the same as if you never tried.
Scared to approach that cute girl at the bar? Why? Logically you know that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, you know if you talk to her, even if she rejects you, the result will be the same as if you just never approached her. The real reason you are scared of rejection is because you are scared what others will think. You are scared she might think you’re a loser or laugh at you. You are scared the other people in the bar might see you fail and laugh at you.
What if you want to start your own YouTube channel? So many people have this dream, and so few even try, let alone succeed. But what’s stopping you from trying? One thing and one thing only: fear of what others will think. Fear that people will laugh or criticize your vids. Fear that no one will watch. Fear that your friends or family members might laugh at your first few vids that don’t get any views. But if you are truly passionate about whatever you want to talk about, who cares? Who cares if no one watches, or if people make fun of you. 99% of the people who make fun of you will never even have the guts to make one single video themselves. Unless your friends or family members or other critics are YouTube celebrities with massive followings themselves (in which case they should be helping you if they are true friends), why do their opinions matter even 1%?
Again I want to emphasize that there are obviously many different reasons for low self-esteem/lack of confidence that is deeply individual and personal to all of us who suffer from it. The point of this article is not that there is literally only one reason for this complicated issue, but rather than it’s one main cause that creates many other secondary causes which have stopped too many people from pursuing their dreams, and living the life they want.
So whatever it is you want to do, just go do it! Want to invest in crypto? Buy some Bitcoin! Want to learn a new language? Start speaking today! Want to start writing on Steemit? Make an account and post your first article! Forget what everyone else is going to say or think of it. Those haters are just sitting behind a computer screen, where it’s easy to criticize and ridicule everyone else while doing absolutely nothing with your own life. By taking the first step and just trying, if you ever get even a single view or upvote, you will have already done more than 99% of people ever will.
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I found it helps to make baby steps and celebrate small victories. Most find that things aren't so bad once they're actually doing it.
Indeed. First step is always the hardest.
Very good post, partner.
It is like that. And following the example you give about children: when they begin to take their first steps, they tend to fall and scrape their knees, but they want to get back up because they feel that new thing that is wonderful and serious, the first thing they do in their life that gives them freedom , your own freedom.
As children too, when we start we want to run, and that's where we get hit faster and harder. YES! We must act as children in those aspects of life that we want and we know that we can succeed.
The start on Steemit or YouTube will be like that, but if you persevere it will be wonderful in the future. I would only ask those who risk and persevere: be like parents and help those who start, as they started.
Excellent point. After we endure the long and hard road to success, it's indeed important to be like parents; give back and help others who look to follow in our footsteps!
Maintaining confidence in trying new things is a daily struggle for me. I recently joined SteemIt and started investing in crypto recently. While I don't doubt the potential of these things, I find myself surrounded by people who adhere to the traditional mindset of working 9 to 5, and anything else is either a scam or "gambling." This type of ancient thinking is disheartening. At times the peer pressure gets to me, so I start giving up on my dreams, thinking this is all a waste of time. Its really sad when the people who are supposed to be closest to me don't trust my judgment.
I've been through the exact same thing even with close family members and indeed it's very disheartening as you said. But at the end of the day it's your life and your dreams. Those who are criticizing you are either outright haters or maybe they even have good intentions but they clearly are not keeping up with the times. If I were you I'd just explain 9-5 is just as much of a pyramid scheme as crypto or anything they consider a "scam". There's a hierarchy and bosses, managers, and then regular employees under their power, who are doing nothing but making their superiors rich, rather than themselves. How that is any different than a pyramid scheme is beyond me.
I have only one concern about this article.
Isn't it better to develop an analytical skill that helps you to decide whether to act on criticism or to ignore it, instead of learning to totally ignore it. I've learnt that sometimes criticism definitely take your confidence away but sometimes it helps you to improve the quality of work or one can say helps you to right your wrong. You just need to learn to distinguish between positive and negative criticism.
For rest of the article, "Bravo" and "Thumbs up" as a lot of people around the world are still fighting against this problem/issue.
Keep up good work.
Sure, I would just say so long as it's you who decides what want to take as constructive criticism vs just outright haters. Problem is too many people get lost in the sea of criticism and they end up letting the criticism define them, rather than them defining the criticism. If such an analytical skill exists, then by all means!
Agreed. Against outright haters, your formula of totally ignore the criticism must be hundred percent applied.
A message everyone needs to hear 💛 we all have to learn to be comfortable and confident in ourselves. We can’t be afraid to try! This is so good to read when you need a little push. Thank you.
You're welcome 😊 this is one of my favorite things to hear. Hope this will help you towards achieving any goals you have!