All people are dependent on something: at least from the oxygen in the air or the ground gravity. To this end, we have no influence. Some people unknowingly become addicted, and from something more. They do not even realize that change is in their own hands. What is emotional dependency? Why people choose such a relationship? What to do, I felt more emotional dependence on another human being? These three issues have probably not alone.
Emotional dependency come in several types: from a strong romantic attachment to platonic friendship that eventually starts to weigh heavily. At first it may seem harmless and even healthy ratio, but it can lead to the collapse of the relationship, or even a stronger form of addiction and nervous exhaustion.
What people are most likely to become emotionally dependent on others? In fact, anyone can become emotionally dependent on each other, but that certain personality types are more prone to bond to others. This happens most frequently when confronted by two opposing personalities: strong, stable person and weak and requires a lot of attention and support. These people need each other as they are as complementary. The strength of the desire to be needed, useful, important and therefore such a relationship to be even more so. The weakness of such a relationship continues, because they are safe and comfortable. Of course, such a relationship has certain advantages because of their desire to opt-out can be very difficult.
Emotional signs of addiction can occur regardless of the relationship between people (they can be lovers, spouses, parents, co-workers, friends). Such people:
Often they feel jealousy; to other people watching as a threat to their relationship;
They want to spend time only two of us, and if this does not happen, they can feel very great anger and frustration;
Losing interest in any activity, except for communication with the person of interest;
There are obsessed with thoughts about the partner's appearance, personality, partner problems and concerns, instead of giving attention and energy to their own lives.
Life does not create new plans, if the partner is not associated with.
Do not notice or do not pay attention to other shortcomings.
During the conversation, often mentions another person allows himself to speak of the second half, or other people's behalf.
The main thing that helps you identify the emotional dependency - unconditional belief that happiness depends on other people: partners, relatives, family, and the full responsibility boot on other people's shoulders. Here are a few signs, how to recognize emotional dependence on others:
The fear of taking responsibility for their lives;
The other person's shoulders burdened too much personality, and hopes that it will always be a priority even though one can not decide everything for us and will always be with us. It can not guarantee that our mood is always good, success at work, or positive outlook on life.
Dependent relationships differ from healthy. A healthy relationship is a lot of freedom, good works and generosity. Both understand that communication with other people at work, business, leisure, are inseparable. They warmly welcomes the relatives manage to establish and maintain good relations with other people. Strong relationships people want to both one and the other to develop their potential, gain new skills and hobbies. Dependent relationship on the contrary are directed to himself: lack of such relations of mutual development and personal growth. When we are emotionally dependent on one partner's word can raise up to ecstasy or lowered into the abyss of despair. When a loved one departs, it is natural to feel pain and longing. But emotionally dependent people feel much stronger feelings: depression, panic attacks and hopelessness. Welcome, strong relationship gives joy and promotes growth and emotional dependency that bind us and do not want to run.
Good tips on what to do if you are emotionally dependent on others:
The first step: to understand that I was in trouble. In this situation, try to watch quietly, without panic. Just state the fact: "Yes, I am addicted to this man."
The second step: to understand what benefits you give this emotional dependence. It is, for example, can be emotional security, a sense of intimacy, respect, self-esteem, depression, disposal, transfer of responsibility to others.
Be honest with yourself: Admit to yourself that you are emotionally dependent on another human being, and that it is bad. Such relationships do not meet your goals, if your goal is personal development, personal and professional growth. Understand that such a relationship has come to an end. To help change such relationships can psychologists, colleagues with whom you communicate in person, other authoritative persons.
Try to gradually move away from the person from which you feel addicted: spend more time alone. Devise a schedule to see him less often. If it's your spouse or children, try to spend more time at the two of us, and among other people. Give your relationship more freedom, do not try to control every movement.
Of course, to get rid of emotional dependence will not be easy. It is normal and natural. Try to come to terms with the fact that, to free ourselves from the clutches of addiction will not be easy - it can even lead to depression or sadness. Do not try to suppress those feelings. Take care of your life and you, Engage in activities, as long dreamed of, but still a delay: Register for a language course or ceramic, on a trip. Find your sense of life, understand that love for one person - this is not all. Find your philosophy of life, which destroy you if you would have to separate from their partner. Develop self-esteem. Learn to take responsibility for their lives and begin to decide what suits you and what does not. Gradually, your life will become perfect and so what you actually want.