It's been some time since my first #introduceyourself where I talked about my philosophy of life and other personal realizations. But it was mostly a general and non-specific post. You can read it here: https://steemit.com/philosophy/@vimukthi/a-gateway-to-my-mind-3-hours-of-me-trying-to-convey-the-stuff-going-in-my-mind-to-the-world
Today I want to tell you about a very specific realization of mine. I want to talk about FEAR. I don't mean "First Encounter Assault Recon" which is a great game. I don't even want to talk about the "concept" of Fear. I'm going to open a gateway into my mind to help you see what I see as fear. I'm going to write without burrowing anything from anyone including definitions. This is a purely subjective post.
FEAR in my Life
I was never the kind of kid who was easily scared. I actually loved ghost stories. I was a very curious kid and it felt like ghost stories kind of expanded my mind into thinking broadly and I was certainly intrigued by them. What really scared me were the practical matters. Facing punishment was something I was afraid of. It was clearly bad for me. If I couldn't watch TV anymore, that would suck. I was afraid of a clear negative outcome. I was also afraid of things like missing the bus or loosing pocket money or leaving the homework at home.
I wasn't afraid of the dark. Sometimes I go into dark and stay there to have my eyes adjusted and it was really cool to be able to see things better after my eyes got adjusted. I also loved the night sky ever since I was a kid. I loved the night sky even when I was just a nursery kid. But there was one time that darkness could scare me. That was imagination. To put it better: Controlled Imagination. I'm a very creative person. I also have an on demand ADHD function. I can make my mind go all over the place and stop whenever I want. Sometimes I try to come up with scary things just out of curiosity. I imagine snippets of monsters (mostly human sized) just few feet away or just out of the window with the face on the window. Some of these times I actually gets afraid.
I've also had a fear of falling (out of anything) but no fear of heights. The only times I've been afraid of heights are the times I saw a possibility of me falling. I told you I'm a creative person. With ENTP personality it's not too hard or uncommon for met to figure out flaws and loopholes and fractures in anything. I'm quick to figure out a worst case scenario at anything.
FEAR in my Movies/Games/TV/Books
I didn't grew up with Netflix. I had to burn the night oil to watch a horror movie. A significant part of the experience was sitting through the movie and telling other how unafraid I was. I had a really tough mind and I always make it a point to watch my horror at night (mostly after parents go to bed) with just one light on fully immersed. It was almost exciting.
X-Files
One of my favorite things as a kid. I love science fiction and supernatural things. X-Files never scared me. But it certainly got me hooked. It made me think more and more about various concepts. I go to bed thinking about those stuff. But it never kept me up at night.
Books
I was bit of a Goosebumps fanboy as a kid and I also read several more of other R. L. Stine books and Spooksville by Christopher Pike. The moments I remember the most are either immersive, fast paced or tense. I also loved the twists. I'm a huge fan of twists and Goosebumps Series 2000 had some of the best. But they were not that "chilling" either. The atmospheric part and the underdog struggle is what really hooked me.
As for Stephen King, I didn't read him; I watched the movies. I just have a thing for figuring out the mindandthought patterns of Stephen King which made the movies predictable. I love the content but I never feel the impact. The only thing more predictable than Stephen King is soap operas. It no fault of king. It's just are like horror soulmates.
Horror Games
I love the tension and challenge. I love a deep and powerful story. LIMBO which I reviewed as a perfect game is a great example. I was also hooked to Resident Evil 4. I loved the tension and the ability to play the game cleverly. I also had fun with DOOM3 which was made as a survival horror FPS. Silent Hill also had excellent atmospheric feel and deep and powerful (meta)narrative.
Unlike many people who were loosing their minds screaming, Amnesia: The Dark Descent was a game I found to be a boring chore. "It was a puzzle game with horror elements in it". That's how I felt. The game that had me scared few times was DOOM3. Why? Jump-scares.
Jump-scares and Me
Most people give a bad rep for Jump-scares and they are not without reason. But Jump-scares are the only real thing capable of making me afraid. No other type of horror has an effect on me. Characters doesn't scare me. I sometimes end up loving the monsters when they are clever designs and psychological horror ends up being a lot like psychological thriller for me. Body horror has no effect on me either. Meal and Cronenberg goes together for me. Jump-scares come out in sudden haste as if there is a clear and present danger. It's sudden and I react. It doesn't happen all the time. But whenever I'm scared, it's because of a ump-scare.
One day I asked myself a very powerful question to ponder. What is the Most scariest thing for me?
The answer i realized was Amnesia; the loss of memories. I don't have any phobias. I have no PTSD and I don't think anything would be able to give me a PTSD. But one thing that I find hyper scary is the loss of memory and knowledge.
Why doesn't anybody have to invent the light bulb or the internet? Simply put, we have the knowledge of all former innovations. Nobody is really building things from scratch. Even if all of the technology was wiped out by alien nano-machines, we still wouldn't go back to being cave dwellers. People would simply start building civilization and in few generations humans will go from prehistoric to at least 18th century technology at the very worst. Think about Iko Uwais against Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers or that guy with the chainsaw against Iko
One thing for sure is that you won't have a horror movie pitting a martial artist against some serial killer. It could practically look easy and one sided. Such is the power of knowledge. Since we already have the internet, blockchain projects can be built on top of it. Since we have powerful computers, we can run powerful software on them. When we know about physics, chemistry and biology, we can start to take control of these aspects of life. Knowledge is power and my definition of power is tied to the freedom it generates. We have tap water. We don't have to go to the well/stream/river and fill up pots/buckets with water. That's freedom. Ordering stuff online instead of going shopping is a freedom. But these freedoms are physical ones.
One time you talked about super powers and what would we choose if we could. It is ironic that now you go into so much depth about not being afraid of anything except. At the time of the super power post I really couldn't decide on anything. It was long after that I kept asking myself, what. Finally I realized that if I could I would never be afraid. I would never experience the vibration of fear. Now you are posting this article, bearing an inside look into who you are and what could scare you. If you will allow me, you totally have the super power of fearlessness.
Thanks for the compliments. But I'm not completely fearless. I just don't respond to certain kinds of fear. Rear-resistant would be an accurate term. Absolute fearlessness would mean absolute freedom and peace in your mind. Most of our fears are simply works of our own mind and our own making. But the deepest ones come out of attachments and if we go even deeper, ignorance.
Truth frees us which leads to our fearlessness. That's why the more you understand, less afraid you become.
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i too am scared of so many things but at 65 take this advise....control your fear and you ill control everything ....nice reading your post...I also love Stephen King...just asking had not seen any book written by him this days...is he still alive.....just asking thanks
He's still tweeting: https://twitter.com/StephenKing
There is also a new novel coming in May named The Outsider. So King is alive and well.
Thanks for stopping by :-)
I think this is some of the best content here on steemit that I have related to in a while! Looking forward to your content. I hope I am able to embody this writing style into my own blog! Keep posting!
Thank you and best of Luck!
It's interesting and a deep topic. Actually, we're creating own fears.
And Limbo, is a great example, this game was my favorite one also :)
Thank you for your sharing @vimukthi , i enjoyed when i read.
I make a distinction between fear and terror. Terror is a result of a clear and present danger. That's when you need your Adrenalin pumping. It's a response to a physical threat. But fear that stick with you is a psychological one. Here is one of my favorite pictures ever.
long checkkkkkk
Wow, I love your perspective on the power of knowledge! And it also motivates me to learn coding, although I am not sure if I will do it for work, as well as to learn French, although I am not sure if it will be really useful for me. :D Knowledge gives such a flexibility, and I think today if we want to succeed in life we must be learning continuously, as university knowledge gets old very quickly. :)
Best thing to learn is the ability to learn faster. I know how important it is from personal experience.
https://steemit.com/philosophy/@vimukthi/hyper-efficient-content-consumption-the-way-i-beat-the-10-000-hour-rule-to-become-a-polymath-and-why-i-don-t-read-most-of-the
yes learning new things,meeting people from all walks of life and listening to their daily life stories makes me young and at 65 except for some mild pains and aches here and gthere i feel as if I am only 16 hahhahahaha
This is so well articulated motivational read by you. Fear is something which is sometimes very hard to even make yourself understand. It can be due to silly things or it can be real fear. Bit the audacity of fear which one haves at the moment of fear is indescribable. You feel weak, breathless, hopeless, dying and every damn thing. But there is a way to fight it and it's only you, who can fight it. You can actually conquer it. But there are always next levels of fear and u keep moving on with them. Life doesn't stop. Stay strong :)
This is very true. When you are at the bottom, you can't really see a top. After you climb and reach once top, you realize there are even higher tops. With each fear you need to develop understanding and only through that we can get over our fears. This understanding not only takes away our fears, it also make us able to face risks better and make our lives safer.
Oh wow, I don't have the guts to put it out there like you just did.
I like how you write + you have Makishima Shougo as your display name. That's one of the best anime I've ever seen.
I'm a massive fan of Gen Urobuchi's work. He has written many of of my favorite anime and anime characters. Read the comments on this article: https://steemit.com/entertainment/@vimukthi/why-and-how-you-should-watch-aldnoah-zero-review-analysis-love-letter-and-personal-thoughts
You might even find few recommendations there.
Oh that's great. New anime to watch. Thanks. :)
Art looks good.
you just have to try my girl
Oh but I don't want to.
I too am not afraid of scary movies or gore films. It even fascinates me! Well maybe because I got used to it because my cousins always buys dvds like these type of movies. 😂... I truly understand your fear. The fear of losing our memories is definitely painful. But as for me I am afraid that my family and the closest to me will forget about me and my whole existence.
Fascinating isn't probably the right word for me. But I do feel that. Gore itself is pointless. It either needs to have narrative depth or creativity. Scary movies (if well done) can expand our minds and perspective.
So are you still watching horror movies tonight?
I've been a little busy these days. But I will get back into watching horror.
I'm scared of clowns personally. Have you watched any of the new X-files episodes?
I haven't seen Season 10 and ongoing season 11. Were they good?
I watched the first 2 seasons of Channel Zero. I wish the run time was shorter. But it was mostly a very good experience.
I saw a few of last season's and one of this season's, I need to catch up. They are pleasantly surprising, it is pretty awesome that they have everything the same, even the opening.
That's great to know. I just have to finish Black Mirror, Doctor Who, Penny Dreadful and Mr.Robot
I don't know how you like Nazi vampire zombies but if you have not watched The Strain you may want to add that to the list as well.
The del Toro involvement had gotten my eye. But I wasn't too interested because of the episode count. X-Files and Doctor Who are the only wrong running shows that I know of that doesn't suck. The Strain isn't that long. But it does have 46 eps.
But since you recommended it, I'll take a look. I think I came across it on Netflix.
Totally concur, some clowns are Scary ... lots o' kids are afraid of Santa!!
Well inked, @vimukthi and I concur, the fear of losing one's memory is scary. I think you would be an amazing writer, you have a natural art of dancing with your reader's minds :)
As @simgemngc said, 'we create our fears'. A baby is born with 2 fears,
To best understand our fears, we need to delve into our primitive, reptilian brain. While it serves us well to protect us vis-à-vis Flight or Flight, oft-times it messes with our minds. ... and the FEAR which appears REAL, cripples us and kills dreams
Thanks for the complements. My experience is that meditation is the best way to pick apart your fears. I first calm my mind with Ānāpānasati, meaning "mindfulness of breathing" and then try to figure out how my mind works. It's honestly a lot like computer programs. Software is an act of emulating human thought. They look a lot like each other. The mind is simply more complicated. Just like you can change a program when you understand it, you can change your behavior, though patterns and ways of thinking when you truly and deeply understand these things.
excellent!! Just learned something :)
Meditation helps mind and body ... soOoo why don't schools add Meditation - Mindfulness to its curriculum?? I'm sure if they do there would be less detentions and more students graduating with high grades and moving on to higher education :)
2 Reasons:
Teaching meditation is like teaching creativity. You can only show the way.
All points well noted :)
Perhaps we need 2 add "vital life skills" 2 education where there are no grades, however students get credit 4 participation
I recall reading that there are few schools in the US that added Meditation and Yoga to their curriculum to see benefits. Also read a few schools are replacing detention with Meditation
I suppose School Boards who truly care about their students will add value to their lives, and as for the rest ... well, ur #1 reason above says it all :D
Btw, thanks again for mentioning Ānāpānasati Meditation - will definitely learn about it - I do my own breathing meditation, however open 2 learning other effective techniques ... perhaps you can write a steemit post on how to do Ānāpānasati?? :)
You can go to https://coffeesource.net/vimukthi and filter with some tags like philosophy, spirituality, psychology, buddhism to find some articles. Here is one: https://steemit.com/buddhism/@vimukthi/an-invitation-try-this-near-impossible-but-very-simple-meditation-challenge-which-even-the-experts-fail-at-philosophy
Mainly what I do is just nothing...... just be aware of my own breathing process without thinking about anything. It looks too simple on paper but it's really hard. Just be conscious of the every breath you take.
This post has received a 8.52 % upvote from @boomerang thanks to: @vimukthi
Fear is everywhere. We need to embrace it and learn how to defeat it
No fear is big than the fear of God. Fear God rest all will be manageable. Fight fire with fire
Such a motivational read!
The scriptures say "... fear hath torment" and "...perfect love casteth out fear"
So if you indulge the fears, it torments you whenever you are in the face of what causes fear... But a solution is to develop a love for that thing and the fear will be flushed away.
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INTERESTING ... FACE YOUR FEARS WITH CONFIDENCE....
UPVOTE ME PLS https://steemit.com/psychology/@simplicitytech/psychology-child-development-emotional-development
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Great intro! Welcome!
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Good post! Thank you for the content!
It would be very cool if you voted for this comment!
I subscribed to you. Subscribe and you are on me!
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Very nice itroduced ,good job dude @vimukhti
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Nice post @vimukthi
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my follbeck my account is still low want to be a great steemian@vimukthi#vimukthi
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Uhmmm well man probe Sadomasoquism maybe you would find your real way...
Uhmmm well man probe Sadomasoquism maybe you would find your real way...
Good post hey! nice one indeed. stay with us
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