At least I wish I could say that I am at Machu Picchu, but that would be a lie.
I chose to become a freelance writer. Obviously, English is not my native language, so there are times when I am struggling big time, thinking if I should continue with my writing. I feel how my mind is spinning in a f-ing vortex right now.
My positive side indicates that I have some awesome thoughts and I have improved massively over the last couple of years, which is amazing. Somehow I am sure that I know how to tell things and I have things to tell. That said, my evil side, which only wants me to fail miserably in life, keeps attacking me with one massive statement, "Your English sucks and everyone can spot it, dear loser." And I know for sure that I can improve my English with time, but this thought just never leaves my head.
Now I realize that my self-doubt comes from the massive amount of information available for us... and some pretentious people, who think that they know how everything works and choose to follow even the most ridiculous rules as long as their comfy lives are not attacked. I don't like those people. I don't like rules either (mostly because I know too little of them). I don't like to wrap stupid text in a shiny cover and pretend that I wrote a masterpiece. And most of all, I don't like my level of English as it keeps pushing me down to the pit of failure. Am I doing anything besides complaining to both of my readers on Steemit? Of course, I do. However, it is not significant at the moment. Let's focus on doubts.
Those shiny professional covers are very useful when it comes to covering the incompetency. And people are comfortable with that. People don't want ideas; they want random words which are written in a correct order. At least that is what I learned so far. Also, I am learning how to write in that correct order to survive in this vicious world. Oh yes, I have no dignity whatsoever. Anyway, the next time you have doubts about your competence, remember that everyone around you is just as terrible as you are. That helps a lot. And also - learn the rules how to look confident. People are not interested enough to look any deeper than the first layer, so you should be alright.
That's my advice for today. I'll let my mind, which is boiling in doubts, rest now. Tomorrow is a new day, and I must be ready to receive a couple of new rejections. After all, what's the fun of succeeding in the first time?
P.S. I consider myself to be a successful human being with a massive amount of potential. However, my doubts are living an independent life, and have the power to control my body from time to time.
I've learned a few things in my 23 years as a writer. Number one is everyone fakes confidence most of the time. We're all riddled with doubt but you can't let that stop you. A creative profession is probably one of the most difficult things you can strive for, but also the most rewarding. I know it sounds counter-intuitive but to become a successful writer, you must write for yourself...not ever for anyone else. Once you learn to write purely from the heart "your tribe", your true fans, will connect with you. You have a great command of the English language too BTW. Keep it up, man. We're all learning...continuously!
amen beautifully said @ericvancewalton!
And @writingamigo, I genuinely wouldn't have thought about your English had you not mentioned it.
Thanks, @natureofbeing! It means a lot! However, I still see where I can improve, which is probably a great thing. I am not a perfectionist, but I want to get rid of all the grammar and style mistakes, weasel words, and whatever else makes my text look less cool.
If you just keep at it, those refinements will come!
What a fantastic reply! Thank you.
This guy, @writingamigo, is a seriously good guy and he has both the most important English words bellowing at us from his very being: Respect and Integrity. As you replied as well as you did, I shall not attempt my own tribute other than to vote for your comment and to resteem the whole article.
Thank you @ericvancewalton, what a gentleman and fine writer you are.
Namaste.
Thank you @ebryans! I know, Eric is truly a great writer and I really respect him for that. And his advice is always spot on!
Also, you have some wide vocabulary yourself, @ebryans. I mean, I often need to check the meanings of different words you use. I like that!
Thank you, @ebryans! I totally agree with your assessment. His writing style grabbed me from the first time I read it. I appreciate your kind words!
Thank you for a very honest and great response @ericvancewalton. It means a lot coming from a man who has been writing for as long as I have been alive, lol. Yeah, I understand that we all have doubts and I never let my doubts take over the command. Somehow, it helps me to tell the world that I am weak to feel a little better and pump up the motivation again.
I always try to keep my own voice and write about things the way I want. That said, sometimes it comes to a situation when I need to choose between money and company's voice or my voice without any payment. And you know, we all need to pay our bills. For now, I am trying to mix it up and establish my background. Your tips really helped me a lot!
I know it's morally wrong, but it feels good knowing that other people face the same problems as well. I am happy that we all have some learning to do!
You're welcome @writingamigo! Oh yeah, remind me how old I am! Lol. Just kidding. I totally get what you're saying, I've been through those same cycles of elation and self-doubt. I believe this is what has driven many famous writers to drink.
I chose a little different path, a day job that has nothing to do with writing. In many ways this made it more difficult but it allowed me to keep my writing separate.
I'm glad to hear I've helped you in some way. Try to hang in there and keep that channel between your heart and the paper (or computer screen) clear and flowing. You're doing great.
The best and most common writing advice I've heard over the years is to write every day. If you have great ideas, you're more than half way there and the writing will come. It just takes practice. Also, no one writes a perfect first draft -- it takes lots of rewriting and editing to get a piece exactly how you want it.
Don't give up. Listen to your positive side. You're doing great!
Oh yeah, that is the best advice ever. I started my one-year long journey around Americas to get used to writing every day. I guess I succeeded as for the last 16 months, I have been writing every single day without any exceptions.
Also, no one ever wants to talk about rewriting and all the painful process, so it sometimes feels as if I am the only one who has no talent, and everyone else just writes masterpieces in one go. I know that it's a lie, but the mind can be irrational sometimes, right?
Aw! You are too hard on yourself. I never would have known you have trouble with English if you hadn't said so. Welcome.
Thanks, @mymoontao Yeah, sometimes I can push myself too much. However, I understand that these are just some stupid problems which will go away in no time, so I keep on working and improving. That said, realizing your doubts and fears is a great exercise in order to understand yourself :)
Your English is really nice in my opinion.
English is my second language.
I think the thing is not language but contents.
We need to doubt to the doubt.
You are good writer.
Thanks, @slowwalker. Yeah, I believe that content is what matters as well. However, we need to have a perfect understanding of our language in order to translate the content so that people would understand and like it, right? That is what I am working on right now
I believe you will do well
Up voted and now following.
Thank you @team101! I appreciate that!
Upvoted, resteemed and following. You are doing great. Never let anyone discourage you or get in your way of your dreams. You are doing it, you are writing. You are farther ahead than most would dare to go.
Thanks, @jag.official1 Those are really inspiring words, which helps me a lot! The good thing is that I hear out my doubts, but I never let them take over the control of my actions. It helps me to indicate the real problems and solve them rather than giving up. I am writing and learning grammar/style every day, so I guess I'll make it somewhere. The best we can do is give efforts. The rest is up to fate.
Your continued practice and dedication my friend will always lead to greatness; and you have both in your heart @writingamigo. No matter what your doubts will have nothing over your accomplishments.
@writingamigo In your article I read my doubts... But as long as doubts prevail over action, and I stopped writing on my terrible English.
You shouldn't have stopped writing. The doubts are there only to stay doubts. If we make them the reality, it is no good! And your English is not that terrible as well :)