I strongly believe it all comes down to our own psyche and how we let things to occur inside our own mind. Regret, denial, anger, grief - and a lot of other stages that varies from person to person, these are those little or extended phases in our lives that we allow to exist within ourselves. I am always of the view that all of us are gifted with immense self-control, only if we dare to exercise it when it's really required. Situations and circumstances will be daunting one way or another - losing a loved one, separation, divorce, all these events will occur in our lives sooner or later. This means that at some point, we need to be mentally prepared for all the 'falling apart' moments that we are yet to be part of.
Whatever situation we're in, we should know that it's never going to be smiles and joys forever! The beautiful moments will be followed by the toughest moments of our lives. The joys will be followed by expected or unexpected sorrows. The ones who claim to be our 'forever and ever' will leave us when shit hits the fan. As humans, all we can do to protect our own souls is to know that whatever there is 'today' might not be there 'tomorrow'. Apart from a sudden death, it can be anything in the world! - It could be distance with your loved ones, it could be a divorce, it could be the phase where things were falling apart - anything that you didn't foresee when you were too occupied smiling, the little worrying sounds that you didn't hear when the noise of that laughter was too loud for your ears, those signs that were always there but you chose to ignore them and not let it affect you because you were too deeply connected with another person - it could be anything that was there. Yes, it was there one way or another. Just didn't pay attention, did we?
And when the day finally comes, we all wanna do so much to go back and change things - it's too late by then. Then, yes, we enter different phases of emotions. However, even then, what we can certainly do is to cherish the better times we had, the things that we did right all the while, instead of regretting the things that went wrong. That is something that can surely be done. Yes, there will be nights where you'd be banging your head in the wall, fighting with God and questioning your fate - but hey, ever thought about is that the same thing he/she is doing, too? Specially in cases where you were let go and soon you get to know there's another person already, well, before going through any of the aforementioned phase, just take a moment and think about the fact that you were 'dispensable' at the end of the day. If that was doable for your loved one today, then it was always on the cards! You need to thank your God (or whatever you believe in) that this happened to you sooner rather than later!
And in the cases where there is a sudden death, well, then yes time is the only factor that can actually make a difference. Even then, all we can do is to reminisce the beautiful times that were spent with someone, all the little things that were accomplished together, the moments of imperfections, the weird stuff we did together - anything that brings a smile on our face when we recall before the first tear streams down.
Time does heal, yes, but there will be a long war within ourselves, with our own soul - and only the ones strong enough to embrace the reality with arms wide open will be able to win this war eventually and be able to find beauty in their lives once again.
Nice comment! Thank you. I think we're build just very stupid, and the fate laughs - sometimes it gives us hope to get it, but we never do it, and we are disappointed for that. Sometimes it gives us a chance to reach that hope, but when we do it, we are disappointed with the expectations we have and the result that comes. I don't think that one should be blamed for not being able to see what he has and strives for, what he does't have. That's how we are build. Everything is vanity, our choice is whether to laugh at it or to mourn. :)