A fake guy says I'm a liar and insane.
His profile is deeply believable.
I'll tell a story about having extreme PTSD, depression, anxiety, and rage.
In 2007, I began taking psychotropics, at the recommendation of my CARDIOLOGIST.
See? Not a quack therapist.
He's a Taiwanese immigrant who cared for my father, mother, and brother.
About as grounded as you can get.
I didn't want to take medication, because of my history of alcoholism and drug abuse.
But my resting pulse rate had gone to 220 beats per minute for no reason:
My cardiologist put me on two psychotropics, and my pulse rate returned to normal.
After I got Meniere's disease, my EAR, NOSE, AND THROAT specialist recommended I see a psychiatrist.
Another non-therapist.
The psychiatrist told me that talk therapy wouldn't be useful, since I already knew what the problem was.
I just didn't have a name for it: PTSD.
I grew up in Venezuela, which was lawless. People murdered each other.
Currently I take nine medications, which have kept me from killing myself or others.
What sometimes happens is that I go into "ruminative loops." Despite the medication, things overwhelm me.
My life is down to about three things, so sometimes when I'm attacked, the defenses break down.
It happened last night. I hated everyone and everything, so in desperation I went on a search. Again.
I've been trying for two years to discover what kind of hand grenade the Norwegian army adopted in 1917.
I looked EVERYWHERE in every language. All I could find was that it was called the Aasen Model 1917.
No pictures of it.
Google Books is constantly adding new titles.
Last night I found the US patent number for the Aasen Model 1917.
Here it is. My two-year search was rewarded. This will go into a future book.
So though I was back in hell last night, I was thrown a lifeline. It made all the difference
That's why I continue. You never know when the next lifeline will come.