This brings me back, far back into my childhood. Sitting with my grandmother in the family homestead kitchen, my small hands running over the rough wood of the large table in the center of the room, I can hear her still crooning to me in her soft Irish cadence. I can still hear the crickets outside the window, with the howls of coyotes in the distance, and the smell of linseed oil from the table mixed with a large pot simmering with the chicken carcasses that were from dinner. I wouldn’t know then, but the most important words of wisdom that I would live my life by, would still be told to me then. My small hands struggled, splitting peas, and dropping them into three bowls.
“Make sure the bowls are even, Eire.” Grandmother would say, chastising me if I neglected to make them even.
“Why though?” For what child can resist asking that question that teaches us.
“Because, tomorrow we are bringing them down the road to the neighbour.” Her voice was firm, telling me there was no arguing about it. “We have a good crop, and the neighbours are new, and have no garden.”
If this had been told to me as a teenager, I would have brushed it off with the thought that if they had not planted a garden, then they did not deserve a harvest. Thankfully, I was young, and easy to be taught the way the world could potentially be.
“Why?”
"Because when you are lucky enough to have more, build longer tables, not higher fences.” My grandmothers words of wisdom now echo strong and true, so many years later. We worked into the night, my small hands working beside my grandmother`s weathered ones, as we both sat at the table. It was long past the time when my parents said time for bed, that my grandmother tucked me in. In the kitchen were three bowls filled with peas, strawberries and gooseberries. One bowl for us to eat, one for storing for the future months, and one for the neighbours down the road.
I did not go with my Grandmother to the neighbours the next day, but as I played in the pond, catching frogs with my brothers (and trying not to get pushed in by a cousin), I did think about what Grandmother meant. Why, when we are prosperous, do we insist on building higher fences? What did that mean?
That answer did not come to me until many years later, when my husband and I were struggling. I was very, very ill, and we were faced with a decision that would alter our lives for the rest of time. While our table was meager, and we made the decision of having a roof over our heads instead of the medication I desperately needed, I heard the saying one more time. This was from a guardian angel, and it helped us with the medication that I needed badly to allow myself and our unborn child to survive. Build longer tables, not higher fences. Our guardian angel was more prosperous then we were, and instead of buying for themselves, or increasing their own comfort with material things, they decided to welcome us into their fortune and built a longer table.
Now, as I near my 30th year, and have become more prosperous, I remember the times when I could not even afford to buy milk. How much it helped me, and my family, to have someone make room for us at our table. Thankfully I am in a position where (and mindfully try to) grow our table. It may not be actually having extra bodies at my table, or a spare bed filled. It is as simple as putting together a bushel of vegetables or fruit, or baking an extra loaf of bread, and sharing it with those around us. As long as NEEDS are met, we can do without our wants. For when we take care of others, we take care of our own souls, and teach the younger generation that it is not all about me me me, it is about humanity as a whole. So I encourage you to sit back, and take a moment of thought. Who can you make space for at your table?
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thank you :)
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Shared to show the heart!
Thank you :) Thought I had said so now realize I hadn't
The heart is an old old saying and the meaning is to treat them as one of your beloved family treasures (like a grandmother you love).
What a wonderful post. It truly warmed my heart. My Granny use to say the same quote. I'm in my 60's and times were much different then. There were more neighbors offering and sharing vs. todays single-mindedness of me, me, me.
Agreed. I thankfully live in a small town, so I was not looked at TO strangely (okay a little, as @mwoodall can attest) when I started the walk across the road to the neighbours. I have a feeling if I lived in a large city, I would have been discouraged rather quickly. As it stands now, we are working in our town to teach the younger generation to do this, in accompaniment of using your own talents to benefit the community as well. But, we must be the change we want to see in the world. It might be difficult for someone who lives in the hills, but I will try to keep both of our grandmother's actions going.
What a true testament to the values they taught you. My grown kiddos do this too (well 2 outta 3 anyways, haha).
This was beautiful! I have never heard that piece of advice before and it seems to me that your Grandmother was a very wise woman.
Thank you so much for sharing with us this week!
Lovely. I do know some of my neighbors (I live in an apartment building), but not all. I love though that I have a couple of people who I can ask for a cup of sugar or they can ask me for some Worceshire sauce and such. It's so much nicer.
Exactly! And it also is beneficial for if you need to have plants or animals house sat.
I remember my neighbours when I first lived in an apartment building. Living in Toronto the first time, the only interaction I had with them was the awkward standing in the elevator and then realizing you were both getting off at the same floor. Shortly after that, I moved into an apartment building in a smaller town. The difference was night and day, and I found the reward with having neighbours whom we had regular positive interactions with made it an enjoyable place to live. I did also notice a positive affect on our mental health as well.
It's really time to bring the community back into our lives, and I feel that often as the world seems to become more 'connected' we will be come disconnected from each other on a humanity level.
I am the resident pet sitter, which is how I know many neighbors. I know another because we talk apartment gardening! And another because her cat once got out, and I see her walking her dog a lot.
Nice :) I commend you for being able to apartment garden. I never succeeded haha. That is great for them to have someone they can trust then, and that neighbours are friends :)
Im so sorry i missed this post! Its so beautifully written! Thank you for this, it was touching.
That is alright @eco-alex :) I didn't know I was 24 hours behind you, so I should have verified that first. But it was a great writing exercise and I can not wait until your next question of the week!