There's an old song by Tom Lehrer from the 1960s poking fun at US international relations.
For might makes right,
And 'til they've seen the light,
They've got to be protected,
All their rights respected,
Till somebody we like can be elected.
The whole "make sure foreign governments elect someone friendly to us or else" isn't just a Russian habit. Ukraine is still caught in cold war power plays from both ways.
There's also a disconnect in how people perceive US intervention and imperialistic overreach as destructive until they want aid or military support in turn. Is US influence a deterrent, or cause of more escalation? Hard to say. Without the US, you would still have all the EU nations and their militaries as potential allies.
Ukraine could have allowed secession. The Soviet Union disintegrated only a short while ago on the historic timetable, and regional autonomy has apparently been asserted since. Before the 1917 revolution. Borders should be allowed to shift peacefully.
None of this justifies Russian aggression, obviously, and I hardly think Putin is a benevolent statesman. Nonetheless, I doubt some of the fearmongering. But I also don't even live on the same continent, which is also why I think the US should bow out of the conflict.