I have been reflecting on many of the events and thoughts that I have experienced during my lifetime.
Much of it has been feeling alien to the world around me. Trying to understand the social cues and expectations.
I found myself drawn to other world topics, such as religion, fiction, dreams, and seances. Always searching to try and understand the rhyme and reason for my existence.
Life is like a maze in which we take the wrong turn before we have learned to walk. - Cyril Connolly
I've always struggled with groups. Anxiety always kicks in forcing me to create a "play book" to establish my own place.
The corporate world was kind to me. Whether in a factory or office I could find "my place" to sit, stand, walk or whatever the function required. I could be productive, focused and purposeful.
All of these elements help to curb overthinking.
If a role was boring and mundane that was the best. Nobody else wanted the role. It was hard to make a mistake and the "boringness" of the role made it perfect to daydream and contemplate.
Now, I am at an age where you say, "I'm over my older Selves". I can tinker with the "why's" and the "what's" with a bit more reflection.
Many times I felt split in two - an anxious person's dilemma - we want to do two opposing things at once.
I want to sleep, yet, I want to research somthing.
I want to be alone, yet, I wouldn't mind catching up with somebody (and the burden that meetup places).
With the new Ai technologies, it opens a whole lot of doors to explore. You can ponder questions with another "ear" without having to concern yourself with the tone of delivery, the rationale, or how you get interpreted.
And in the end, does it really matter? I have offended quite a few people when I tell them, "In the end, everything, is nothing."
But I guess that comforting feeling, that I get from the phrase, seems to place fear in others. It is quite refreshing to know that our birth certificate has an expiry date - we just don't know exactly when.
So, here I get to produce songs based on events in my life.
Sometimes they are fun. Reflective. Deep. Sad. Horrible. Happy.
But this new one, Untold Spaces, I like very much.
