Connection
I started this week on a very positive note, feeling like my role as an 'Integrator'. Connecting people with other people to meet each others' needs.
I introduced one of the most capable youths that I know (from the NGO I volunteer at) to a job opportunity. I also introduced old schoolmates that are in the Green Business because I believed in their values and feel like they would do great things together. I felt like the connector bringing people together to create synergies.
These two meetings created a connection in myself. I felt at peace with my being and my role in people's lives.
I may not be the smartest, the best negotiator, nor a very assertive leader, but the meetings made me aware of my role of as a supporter and integrator. I felt a spark, a happy feeling~
My attempt at interpreting the image I felt and saw in my mind
Emotions can Connect
As the week went on, I noticed a couple of my conversations with two special individuals relating so very much with the burn-out, depression, and anxiety I went through a few years back.
It made me realise how we, as a society, tend toward always wanting to be happy, and judge other negative emotions as undesirable and "bad". However, in those moments as I spoke with these individuals about their struggles, I realised that the (what felt like)"tumultuous" emotions I was going through those few years back is helping me connect with these individuals. They chose to speak to me and I was in awe at how similar their stories were to mine. In those moments, I felt a connection I never thought my "bad emotions" would have allowed me to.
When I was struggling with these "bad emotions", I was overwhelmed by these emotions, I used these emotions to disconnect me from people around me. I had so much hate toward myself and felt like no one would understand. I even disconnected myself from the greatest support in my life, my husband. I kept moving myself away from him, yet kept crying out for him to be by me. I felt such a disgust for myself that I felt like I should not deserve his affections.
I would say I am lucky though. Despite how frustrating I was, he stayed loyally and dutifully my husband. We argue, we get annoyed at each other, but we are each others' greatest support. There is no denying though, I had to seek professional help. A neutral third party that gave me space to be with my emotions and go through them.
He was there too, every time i had to go through the emotions that arise - the guilt over dad's passing, the depression over my life's purpose, the anxiety over not being good enough. I cried, I whined, I screamed. Yet, he always reminded me that I needed to listen to what these emotions were telling me and, as cheesy as it sounds, do what your heart tells you.
https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-and-white-connected-hands-love-265702/
To the two brave individuals who are facing their struggles:
This is a part of my story that I did not launch into detail with you. However, if we go on the premise that emotions have a function or that emotions are data (see the Susan David video linked below), I felt that our conversations this week showed me that the emotions I went through served another function (besides telling me to make a change in my own life) -
Our emotions have served to connect us
So, thank you for the connection at a time when you may feel the most disconnected, and I just want to say you are brave for being with your emotions. As Susan David says in her TEDTalk:
We own our emotions, they do not own us.
Do not race for emotion exits. [Instead, go through them]
Emotion is data.
Say "I am noticing, I am feeling ..." instead of "I am [emotion]"
Our emotions have a purpose and are neither "good" nor "bad". They are just signals that can help us bring us closer to a path that align with our values if only we learn to be with them, even for a while.
https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_david_the_gift_and_power_of_emotional_courage
Peacefully,
Sue
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The irony I think most of us in relationships go through. I feel its the ego talking - we want to be left alone, but we dont have the courage to ask for help.
Your talk about emotions makes me fall in love more with psychology in general and impact it has on people whether they are aware or not.
Please do share more @sueannelim
The life of counselor is always exciting and entertaining for readers. It's whats not being outside and only behind close doors. A close inspection into the human condition.
While it's unethical to tell other people's stories without their permission - adding a personal take to one of their most insightful breakthroughs is always welcomed - that's what most writers do anyway :D
Thanks for your comment, Ben. I just got back from Cambodia and most certainly plan to continue posting!
Thank you @sueannelim. My biggest takeaway from this sharing is emotions are data. They are the direct link that connects events, people and experiences to give it meaning... whatever it may be for us.
Listen to the data, observe it and take courage to shape it to whatever form you desire. This is the path of the proverbial alchemist - taking what is in the present to manifest a new creation tomorrow.
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