... but what does this say about me?
Let me rewind a bit.
We are constantly bombarded with bad news, how terrible everything has become, and how we are slowly consuming the only planet that can (currently) sustain us. The economy is favourable to a select few, and most of us struggle to either make ends meet or figure out where our next paycheck will come from.
In the clouded mess of what can be seen as a life, I am trying to finish my PhD, write books, and articles, present at conferences, and then to try and find a stable and permanent work that can sustain this thing called a life. And sometimes things can get a bit rough, to say the least. And in these "dark" moments, few things stand out as good news.
But there are still some good out there, with good people who just do good without even trying to. And this makes life worth living. But in saying this, I wonder what it says about me? I am a bit confused by my own reflections...
Doing academic research is not cheap. Books are so expensive. This is not an exaggeration. A recent book that I reviewed would set you back $60 (USD) if you bought it on Amazon or 65 EURO on Springer. These prices are well beyond most of the public's reach. Academic books and publishing is one of the craziest schemes out there. But not to dwell too much on this fact, as it is depressing, let me get back to the story with its good and happy ending.
I rarely buy academic books because it is so expensive; I don't have a research fund that pays for these books. But I always visit websites that offer them, because sometimes you find some lucky buy where there is a massive discount. A week or so ago, I was browsing one of these websites, and I found a listing for a book in a bookshop close by that sells academic books. The original price was close to $60 (USD), well beyond my budget, but it was discounted by about 90%. I could not miss this opportunity.
I was sceptical, but because the shop was close by, I tried my luck anyway. And I was right, the book was listed online as reduced by almost 90% but in the store, the original price was still on the back of the book.
I tried my luck, as I sometimes do, and asked jokingly if I could get the book for the price listed on the website, and to my surprise, the person actually sold me the book at the website price. I tried my luck again, but this time really meant as a joke, if I could get the other's in the series at that price as well. The book series is on the philosopher Gilles Deleuze and consists of about 10-15 different books. I am invested in Deleuze's philosophy, but his work is notoriously hard to grasp, especially if you are not well-versed in philosophy. And his books, and books related to his work, are notoriously expensive. Hence why I tried my luck...
And to my surprise, the sale's person wanted to help me out... These books (illustrated in the photographs) are incredibly expensive, but they are on the older side. They have been on the shelves for about 10 years, and some of them are published as early as 2000! In academia, that is quite old, because in 23 year's time, much has moved on. So, the sale's person did something unheard of... He told me to fetch the ones I wanted, he would give me the 90% discount on all of them.
This did not benefit them or the store in any way, except that I paid for the books - but with a 90% deduction. And yet, the person did this selfless act.
But this got me thinking, what does it say about me? Why is it only a selfless and good act when I personally benefit from it? I got the books for a discount, as the initial price was well above my budget, and I would not have bought them if I did not get the discount. But why is the selfless and good act only selfless and good because I gained something?
What does it say about me for wanting things like this?
Maybe I am digging holes around myself in a frantic act of reflecting too deeply about a matter that does not require such thoughts. The funny thing about reflecting on something mundane is that it totally loses its significance and the rigid borders surrounding it - making it sensible - when you ponder about it too much. Take, for example, the act of saying a specific word out loud. If you say the word "BOOK" out loud over and over again for about a minute or two, the borders between the end of the word, -ok, blends into the beginning of the word, bo-. The rigid divide blends away and becomes fluid, the previously discernable word, book, now becomes a strange sound foreign to your own ears.
Contemplation, reflection, and thinking through a problem, is sometimes good, but pondering for too long about a matter makes it even hazier.
In the end, the sale's person did me a great favour, one that only benefited me in the end, and I am so grateful for this selfless act.
Have you recently found such precious and small moments in your life?
All of the writing in this post is my own. The photographs are my own, taken with my Nikon D300.
*Edit: Title grammar.
Kindle books available simply not a real book to read in your own time and pace, reference back to.
Reality is libraries are no longer open, absolute treasure trove for old and young.
Enjoy the books may the come in handy after kind gesture bestowed upon you by a bookstore owner who would prefer the books be enjoy to collecting dust on shelves.
!BEER
For sure! Libraries are so underfunded these days, even at universities. No money to buy up-to-date research. And as you noted, online reading and "screen" books are not close to the real thing. And to be honest, research is much easier with a physical book. But academic books are really a scam. I mean, who pays R3000.00 for one book? I am busy writing a chapter for such a book, which will retail for that price. I will net see a cent when it gets published, having given away my research for barely nothing in return. Biggest ponzy scheme out there!
Our local library the roof is caving in, relatively new building was pride of Toti. Burgled on many occasions with mainly computers yet the books left in a shambles, when there is no pride it cannot be produced....
For sure, it is so sad. I am always reminded by the videos that were circulating with the KZN lootings when everything was looted except the bookshop. In some sense very funny, but also sad and eye-opening.
Book stores are of no interest with few still available as once was in Malls, books mainly circulate for education or the older folk who share books in community.
There is definitely still some hope left. I found my fiance out of a million others who do not ever touch a book, and she is just as obsessed with books as I am! There is still hope.
Still book worms around that enjoy the smell and comfort of relaxing to read.
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