I'm with U ;)

Your talk of being seen as crazy is really encouraging.
It reminds me of a lesson I got from this video that I've never forgotten

1 million users in 4 months

That's a hefty promise! And I think you could achieve it if it weren't for one problem which is logging in.

I have lots of friends who tried to set up accounts and have been unable to get passed the password log in. Here is a possible solution. Perhaps as a famous dolphin you can explore the possibilities for this and get the idea into the right hands.