ALL THEY MAY NOT UNDERSTAND

in #relationship7 years ago

Is it wrong to not feel?

Well, should it bother you that not everybody would believe that some people just don’t deal well with confused emotions and that’s what inevitably happens when the guard is let down and you think you can actually have some things that probably can’t be had? What they don’t understand is that after the first two times that you had your heart shredded or toyed with, the walls went up and just kept getting higher and thicker  and the entrance kept getting smaller ever since. What they don’t understand is that it is not about them; never was, but that all you can see now is only a big freaking disappointment about to happen; nothing more, nothing less. What they don’t understand is that their faces have never left your memory – the faces of those that had taught you the hard knock lessons of betrayal; that sometimes you stay awake at night wondering what could have been done differently or what could have not been done at all which would have probably produced a different outcome and that the sleep leaves your eyes and you want to cry big, sad painful tears even if you’d feel pretty embarrassed after you done. What they don’t understand is that behind that façade of rehearsed smiles and funny sarcasm there’s a boiling cauldron of molten magma waiting to erupt at the very minimal disturbance. What they don’t understand is that you have practiced how not  care for long enough that now it seems almost as authentic as a child’s smile at the sight of his mama. What they don’t understand is that even if given a chance now, the fear that you’d fail would probably make you fail woefully at it. What they don’t understand is that you have replaced all ‘trivial’ emotions, (more out of the necessity to survive) with other overshadowing thoughts and mental activities. There are many other things that you are very aware of that they don’t understand but I think the one that’ll probably annoy you the most is that they don’t understand that they’ve chosen not to understand. But it’s all good now isn’t it? You’ve been through a lot and you always come out of it even if you lose a part of you each time, but yes! You survive and that’s what’s important so all those parts that don’t make it out with the rest of you were probably never meant to be there in the first place. After all that’s seen and felt the one and only truth that keeps you going is that you’d survive… and that’s what’s real.

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"Chosen not to understand" is an interesting choice of words. I suspect those other people don't know enough or care enough to see that deeply into you -- which I suppose is the problem. Then again, those people equally have their own memories and emotional calluses; we are all walking wounded in the final analysis, I think.

yes they do. But note that this was written at a time when a disapoinment was still fresh in my mind and this was coming from a purely selfish and self centered perspective. Most times, in situations like that, we tend to highlight our interests more; be it a result of self pity or whatever. So while I do agree that others probably have had their own crosses, this was set in a moment when all that mattered was your (my) ordeals. Thank you for taking time out for this

Yeah, I like your opinion, while occupied with your awareness of your peculiarities and your past we should always remember that those we come across have theirs also.

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I Like this! Let me know if you find this right. If you do I shall follow and upvote. Please visit https://steemit.com/buddha/@pankajwahane/noble-intention-behind-steemit

I don't think its right to Promote your works in people's comments section. I'd still check out your blog tho

They don't understand the deep hole inside of the heart that is still left uncovered... They don't understand many other inner sufferings you're going through... In the end, you'll come out superior and stronger.

Yes. Although we cannot consider the end without thinking of the happenings on the way, what truly matters is that we survive in the end and probably come out stronger. That's what we are meant to do. Thank you for reading my blog

This is really nice....No matter what i face in life...i keep going am a survivor...
Thanks for this! @babysteve

No matter what i face in life...i keep going am a survivor...

Yes you are!

Hey @babysteve,

I get you. A heart is broken, it is boarded up with wood. A second time, it is filled up with concrete. A third time, titanium.

And very soon, one's heart is like an impenetrable fort.

It's not them, it's you, but they don't understand. Thank you @babysteve.

Ps: Spacing your post makes it easier to read, and throw in a picture or two, makes it more attractive. Remember to credit the pictures too.

You understand it. And thank you for the writing tip. Appreciate you

true brother. atleast i survived mmm and get help world wide am still alive .those things make us stronger.

As long as we let them

Hahahahahaha 😁

Apart from the paragraphing, I love what u wia buttressing, you did a nice job.

I Like this! Let me know if you find this right. If you do I shall follow and upvote. Please visit https://steemit.com/buddha/@pankajwahane/noble-intention-behind-steemit

Your assertions are right, usually right, @babysteve
But there are still people out there who are unluckily unusual, they keep loving and loving even though they get hurt everytime. They are the few exceptions from what you've outlined here.

Very few my friend, very few

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