As a young boy I witnessed terrible examples in romantic relationships including abuse and domestic violence. I hardened and numbed this pain and trauma until I was able to find a safe place to heal.
Relationships would become chaotic and reflective of the pain I witnessed early on and I would run from them because I couldn’t bear to recreate the same drama and pain, and I didn’t have the support I needed to really face what was arising.
I put so much time and focus and striving into healing myself spiritually through discipline and practice. I worked with powerful and beautiful mentors and teachers who were all about awakening and being of service.
But when I would enter a relationship it was like a demon of my past would emerge and grab hold of me so strongly I couldn’t defeat it. I tried working within the relationship eventually and made a little progress. Then a little more, softening and opening and becoming more vulnerable.
The heartbreak of a relationship not working out which I had given my all to and still was unable to have the quality of realtionship I desired, I finally let go. I let go of thinking I could do it all on my own. I let go to realize I needed some help and to work through deeper layers to heal. This is an alive process for me and I am by no means perfect!
What I experience now that I have made deep shifts relationally, primarily outside of romantic relationship, is a deep connection with what I consider to be incredibly beautiful and mature women who are meeting me.
These women have been women I’ve dated or become friends with, or both. We reflect to each other the healing we are both working on within ourselves and it is deeply healing and humbling. The chaos, conflict and noise has quieted and I am having the experiences I’ve always wanted with women... real meeting.
The reflections that women have been giving me have brought tears to my eyes and an overwhelming softness and warmth to my heart. It is this beautiful experience and gift that I share with my clients in coaching and healing work.
I believe there are some areas relationally that we often have a hard time accessing no matter how hard we work on our growth. It is these hard to access areas that I am passionate about helping with. I want to help you create the same level of joy and freedom and more, to whatever level you want to take it. I want to help you clarify the experience you’re really after so that the suffering and avoidance can end.
This is the most beautiful work to me, in becoming human.. Because relationships are a very human thing, and being truly human is a beautiful thing that can lead to the most transcendent and ecstatic spaces.
The result is that you will attract high quality men into your life, and you will be in the space to notice, See and show up with them. It is always an inside job (doing the inner work) and the result can be seeing worlds of quality human beings with which to relate in a peaceful, safe and growthful way. I wish this for you!
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