Nice guys finish last
I've seen far too many examples of girls complaining about their boyfriends or husbands treating them bad, only to return to his side as if she's under some kind of magical curse. What happened to the "I want a guy that treats me well"? How is it that a girl who ushers such a statement can then end up with a "bad guy"?
Meanwhile, "Nice guys" are on the sideline wondering what they've done wrong, objecting to the woman's choice of the "bad man" yet secretly harbouring admiration for the "bad guy".
What exactly is going on?
 First and foremost, being too nice can actually be an emotional burden. Women often wonder how a guy can be so nice, but the reality is, the nice guy is probably spending too much time trying to be nice and has forgotten to just, be himself - a man. Meanwhile, the "bad guy" isn't trying to be anyone but himself, he'll say what he wants and care not for what you or others think. He's being real guy. |
"Sure, it's not a problem at all, i'd love to"Nice guys will never ask for anything, nor reject anything you ask him to do. That is a real problem. It's not that women don't appreciate the good gestures, it's more that they are too easy to come by. A woman doesn't like a man who she can easily trample on, and that's why the "bad guy" will never grant whatever is asked for just like that. |
You sir, are too predictableWatching movies is fine, but unless the girl is also a massive movie fanatic, it can grow tiresome and frankly boring. And that's the key here, nice guys don't go against the grain, they are predictable and choose safe activities. Where's the fun in that? Women like their own fair share of stimulating activities too, they are fun. The bad guy doesn't play by the book, and that's what makes him unpredictable. |
What matters in the end..
Nice guys by definition are already finishing first in something. Whether or not the girl see's it that way is another thing. Sure, the nice guy may miss out on that hot girl who ends up dating the douchebag, but there's a reason for that. People like to be with those they consider their equals, in some girls cases, even a little above. An example would be a celebrity who dates another celebrity. And that is why the most important thing is finding someone you have a lot in common with. That way, you'll never finish last because in their eyes, you're always first! That's what matters in the end..
One last thing. Be. A. Man.
我看过无数次女生抱怨男生对她们不好 可是到最后还是回到他身边。女生常说 “我要一个对我好的男人” ？ 那为什么最后还是跟坏男人在一起？
我们看看女生到底在想什么。首先，对一个女孩太好会让她感觉到情绪上的负担。女人觉得这么好的男人是不可能存在的，这样想也没大错，因为好男人确实花太多时间在当好男人上，但忽略了重点就是要做自己。而坏男人只关心做自己，他谁也不想当。爱说什么就说什么，不会在乎别人对他的质疑。好男人永远不会拒绝一个女生，也不会要求什么。 这问题可大。 女人当然不会介意男生对她好，但女人也不喜欢男生太容易被踩踏或掌控。而坏男人就不会对女人有求必应。看电影是好的事情，但是每次约会不能总看电影吧？ 好的男人不会要求冒险活动，也是为什么女人会很快就对他没兴趣。 如果一个男人太容易被预知猜测，女人就会越来越少新鲜感。人也喜欢跟同类同等级的人在一起，我们看娱乐圈的人都是跟内圈的人在一起 也是因为他们有共同点。最重要的就是，找一个人跟你有很多共同点，同时喜欢你这种爱看电影的人，就不会出问题。最后就是，散发出你自己的雄性魔力，其实坏男人只不过比较man而已，不会怕做自己。
I have a song for you @sweetsssj lol:
Eurythmics - I Need A Man
Great song and how fitting!
I was wondering whether you were signalling something deeper because of how the singer looks slightly transgender.
Nope. Nothing deep. Just thought it was a fun song to go with the theme of your post :-)
Hmm I never thought of Annie Lennox as being a man, but now that you mention that... she does look a bit drag queenish.
But that goes for anyone (man or woman) who piles on the make up.
You mean that if I were to pile on some make up I could look like enough of a man to satisfy even ladies looking for a "bad boy"? Well, that's easy enough then.
SLIGHTLY... - ;)
E serio kkkkkk.
Muito sério
My closest women friends told me this all the time, I guess as a way for me to keep hoping for a magnificent women I knew could exist. Luckily, that woman and I were finally brought together under the powers of the stars and synchronicity built within and around us, allowing us to meet.
In very crude terms, I sometimes try to warn women and also give them incentive into looking deeper into themselves to find the worth of the relationship they are about to get into. I can tell my closest women friends "Shit floats, you have to dig deeper to find the jewel.", a direct parallel to the Indian lotus story talking about the jewel that can be found deep in the mud...
Thanks for the article and namaste :)
I can confirm that Eric is a nice guy. And that he has found a magnificent woman with whom he has finished "first".
Thanks a bunch for the endorsement and compliment, wait till you meet Taissia... She'll take your breath away in so many ways. Namaste :)
I'm honoured to have people who have more life experience give details of their own conquests over these social stigmas . Thank you for sharing :)
Conquest, I wouldn't necessarily say, but surely some experience in the matter, yet and more importantly reflection on the matter of this experience. I'm very glad to share with you on that level. Namaste :)
I learned this quite early on in my dating career. I'm not tooting my own horn, but in my younger days I did quite well with the ladies. I had a very hard time at first, though, with the exact problem that has been outlined in this article. I was too nice. And that made me boring.
Women love a bad boy, but they also love an element of mystery. It's exciting for them to be in the company of a guy that they think is physically attractive, a bad boy, and mysterious. They get to thinking about what you're all about. They want to know more. And it's up to the guy to reveal just enough to put them at ease, but not enough so they lose that feeling of excitement and curiosity.
I think first impressions are everything. When you see a girl you like, you need to exude confidence during your first interaction with her. It's even alright to be a tiny bit cocky. Don't be arrogant, though. That's a turn off. She'll get the impression that you think you are better than her and everyone else, and that's usually a deal breaker.
I find that a woman will also judge a man a lot by the way he interacts with her friends. It's important to be very careful here. A woman's friends can carry a lot of weight when it comes to the decision she makes about a guy. You want to be friendly, but not too friendly. The worst thing you can do is hit on one of her friends. It will get right back to her, and your goose will be cooked.
The most important thing for me is to treat women with the utmost respect, but that doesn't mean letting them walk over me. You also don't want to try and do everything for them because they will think you are clingy and needy. It will make it look like you have made her your entire life, and one thing that can make a woman go running away quick is when a guy gets attached too fast.
It's best to play hard to get and to make it exciting. After all, the thrill is in the hunt. I always found that it was best to let the sexual tension build for as long as possible because then when you finally do the deed, it will be incredibly explosive. One way to make sure a woman will stick around is to give her mind-blowing, toe-curling, eyes roll back in the head orgasms!
The bottom line is that hot, sexy women want REAL MEN. They don't want spineless wimps who follow them around all day and try to do everything for them. They don't want to be "kept." They want to have fun and excitement in their life.
Rest assured guys, if you become boring and predictable, they'll drop you like a hot potato!
Great article! I really enjoyed it.
Thank you contentking for your input. I like your detailed analysis very much. It's clear you have come to these conclusions from practical experience. Good for you!
I also really appreciate the self reflection, because it takes real admittance of ones own problems to really solve them, and you clearly identified that early on.
Thanks again!
That's for sure, but who has time to be some woman's personal "fun and excitement" assistant!
I sure don't.
They are welcome for the ride but they need to get off at the next stop.
I've been happily married to a nice guy for 16 years and wouldn't have it any other way. Nice doesn't mean wimpy or beta. To me it means respect and kindness. I've had my share of men whose need to assert dominance came up in all sorts of unwelcome and inappropriate ways. While my husband is no pushover, we negotiate our needs with love. I'm ruined for anyone else, basically.
I'm really happy for you! I think the take home message isn't whether the guy is by all measures too nice or not, rather acts true to himself and behaves sincerely.
This one is very hard for nice guys to understand.
They have been programmed all of their lives by women who's very nature is to break men. Mother's do it to their husbands, and to their sons.
What a woman really wants is a man that will stand up to her, and then, for that man to be nice. But, her insecure nature is such that she will hen peck, and nag to reduce the man's backbone. Its in all of the movies and sit-coms.
A nice guy has heard these things, that are supposed to be pleasing to a woman, all of his life. And he doesn't know that they kill a woman's desire. He doesn't understand why it doesn't work, he is doing everything he was told.
It's contradictory to what common sense would tell you. Indeed that makes it difficult for nice guys to understand.
I think it is just another example of the struggle of power between the genders. And, i'm sure that most nice guys will learn the hard lesson.
They'll learn if they ever want to get laid! Lol!
That's the truth it seems the only time a woman is Happy is when she has something to complain about. If she is with a guy that is perfect she has nothing to talk about when she gets together with her girl friends and they all complain about their guys and she feels left out.
A wise friend once told me two things...
"If you don't give her some drama she will create some for you" Most women want drama.
"No good deed goes unpunished, when dealing with women that you are attracted to." (Ok that's actually a paraphrase.) But it's true as soon as you start doing favors (unless they are Heroic in nature) it totally turns most women off and put you in the "Easy to manipulate" friend zone.
I actually used to be a dating coach at one time.
It's better then to stay single. Less trouble, less drama, more peace and freedom.
That's interesting, I agree with your points.
I think it comes down to balance, which of course is impossible without positive and negative elements. Drama is simply a way to rebalance. I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect guy though, or a perfect woman.
As you were once a dating coach, i'm sure you know the minds of women very well :)
I don't think there's any problem with being nice. But the person being nice needs to be one able to afford being nice, and not force themselves to be nice (to get the prize!).
And from the other person's perspective it has to seem genuine too.
I think you are using "nice guy" as a euphemism for pussy. And "bad guy" for confidence. In my experience - women are looking for a guy who is more self-confident than they are ;) Its primal. Nice post!
I think there are lots of evolutionary reasons for wanting the "bad guy", but confidence does rank up there with one of the primary reasons. Usually confidence is not something nice guys exude when they agree to everything and say yes to everything.
There was a time when men taught their sons how to be men.. I think that day has ended (i'd like to think i'm teaching my guy - but the world has changed).. Its no wonder most men have lost their confidence. Its hard to be confident when there is a lot of confusion around what men are still allowed to do (or if there still is such a thing as gender). That said - a confident guy will win any day of the week - not just with women ;)
nice guys read this article. bad ones don't. oh, I didn't read. I made a comment without reading. really. I am BAD!!
you are SO bad. Liking it already 👹
Instead on focusing finding your true love. why not focus on your life goals ?
im sure you will find your "The one" along the way xD just sayin :)
Is that what you have or what you want?
😸
Miss. Opinionated find's nice guys only slightly agreeable.
Good post
Thanks ianstrat :)
Be like richman ;D
I think being wealthy doesn't really affect the underlying nature of attraction between "nice guys" and "bad guys" unless the woman is hardwired to just love money.. But there are lots of gold diggers out there for sure. I don't find that agreeable.
That was a joke indeed :D
It's all about my nickname, not about being rich or poor.
Your post was interesting to read btw.
Damn. Looks like I'm a nice guy.
It sounds like something vague and philosophically. Everyone understands their own way.
It's a reference to a comedian, search "Be a man, do the right thing".
Hahaha nice post. Strange that women unconsciously know that fact too.
Opinions form after you've had some experience. Of course, women also have highly secretive meetings where they talk about top secret things like this to make sure everyone is clued up.
0nce you give it up, it's a wrap!!! In comes the drama, you've been warned ;)
Haha indeed.
Nice guys finish last.
Remember that ladies, when you are complaining about what a useless lover your man is.
The bad boy may be fun, but it's all about him. You are just there to service his needs.
If that's what you aspire to.... then the bad boy is all you deserve.
Don't confuse nice guys with boring guys. Boring guys will always be boring.
I'm a nice guy (and yes I finish last) but I'm never boring.
There are many women who feel empowered by being submissive. It's a strange oxymoron but definitely exists!
Being nice isn't all bad though (confusing right) there are bad ways of being nice too. As you said, not being boring is one of them.
RS and UV for you! Pretty interesting read. I think you have a lot of male fans LOL.
Great stuff, keep up the good work. Have a good week sister!
Thank you! I think steemit actually has one of the best balance of genders. Hopefully the gals make up a good representation too.
Yes, people keep talking about how the turnout at #SteemFest had about 35% females and for this space -- that is a lot but that is because Steemit is based on #Crypto tech but it is a lot more than that -- maybe it is the social aspect of this platform that increases the female numbers. IDK for sure
I am a good guy but I keep it real LOL
Great honesty. Every woman I have ever dated has liked being spanked...I wonder why ;>
"That damn nice guy ran off with my girl", said NO biker ever.
Possibly the act of being submissive lets them feel stimulated..
Otimo ponto de vista adorei ,nota 10.
Virei seu fa nunca vi um blog tao legal.
Thank you panela, I had to use google translate to read your comment. Thanks for the kind words.
Por nada continue sempre assim vc tem muito talento.
Nah, it is never nice guy vs bad guy, it is always handsome guy vs ugly guy
or rich guy vs poor guy
or it could be rich guy vs handsome , ugly vs poor
Simple. She has needs.